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Meltdown!!!

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3541

WTG, PB, just give it your best shot. Post as often as you like. You know there's always somebody here, and you know it works. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/13/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 198 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,960 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,178.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 19 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 24 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2417

PB - I hate this for you. I wish there was something I could say or do. Just know that things WILL get better, they always do. If you smoke, you smoke. We are not here to judge you. The holidays suck sometimes. It looks like you have plenty of cyber support though! :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/8/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 323 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,845 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,356.60 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 29 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 20 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1356

PB, I hope you feel better, I am sorry for your pain and I wish I could fix it. Please know I am sending hugs and prayers your way okay? You are strong mate and I know you will do what is right for you, whatever that is, I hope you feel better ASAP. Sue [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/3/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 208 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,080 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $364.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 19 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 363

Thanks again everyone, I'll be fine. I've endured over 20 years of feeling like this, so I'm sure everything will be ok. Sometimes its nice to just get some of it out of your system. I do think I'm going to get some help this time, it seems to be getting worse. I'm gonna try and hang in there. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]11/24/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 3 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 144 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $28.80 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 31 [B]Seconds:[/B] 23

Quit Meter

$39,032.18

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1026 Hours: 12

Minutes: 43 Seconds: 7

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5719

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

171,570

Cigarettes Not Smoked

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3541

I'm so sorry you feel so bad, PB. I know what it's like to be alone at this time of year, I know it sucks. Do whatever you have to do to feel good again. Couselling sounds like a good place to start, and if you haven't been on meds for 14 years, you might be pleasantly surprised at the advances that have been made. I'm with Sparky that I don't think smoking will REALLY make you feel better, and I hope you'll be back with us soon. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/13/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 198 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,960 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,178.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 19 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 41

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3307

PB depression is a very serious thing and you really should address it. Also, when I use to have my slips I would feel pretty down and blaming everything and everyone for my need to continue to smoke. Maybe you should take some time for yourself and gather your thoughts. I was never able to smoke a few and jump right back to a quit. I know there are those of you who are screaming, but that is how it was for me. I do know one thing the whole time you will be smoking you will be thinking about quitting. Once you have quit, it is real hard not to think about all the benefits that come with quitting. So while you take the time you need and when you light up ask yourself why? There is still a part of me that really wants to smoke, but I am not willing to go outside in the cold to smoke. I am not willing to get up in the middle of the night for a smoke. I am not willing to smell again like an ashtray. I am really tried of quitting. PB I have faith in you. I know you will be back. Once SSC gets under your skin you can't escape :eg: You have so many friends here and they all care. Take care of the depression, please. Keep the Quit Sparky [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]4/30/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 211 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,110 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $316.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 28 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 27

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1093

PB, I have been going thru a depression also. It is an awful feeling. I think counseling is the best thing you can do for yourself. Maybe meds too. But, start with the counselor and see what she/he recommends. I was reading on a website last night that outlined the counselors model for conducting a smoking cessation therapy group (if I remember correctly) and one of the things I noticed was that it had a section of outline that warned against MDD (major depressive disorder) in relationship to quitting smoking. I kno't know what to tell you. It sucks being depressed but I really, honestly do not believe smoking is going to make you feel any better and do believe it could make your state of mind that much worse. More big hugs, PB! I am sending good thoughts your way. I hope you figure this out and get to feeling better soon. xx [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/25/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 94 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,820 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $549.90 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 16

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 363

Thanks everybody, I appreciate all your kind words, I really do, but I feel like my quit is not going to last this time. I think there are more underlying issues that I have ignored over the years that I need to address. The honest truth is I need counseling and more than likely those brain numbing meds I hate so much. My depression is sprialing out of control, it always does this time of year. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 19, I have been on and off of meds throughout my life, but for the past 14 years I have gone without them, choosing to deal with it on my own. Sometimes I feel like life would be so much better if I just had someone I could love and trust, a partner in crime, but then that brings a whole other package of challenges. The first one would be bringing myself to the point of being able to trust again, the second, being able to love again. I sat in my apartment on Thanksgiving Day alone, no meal, no family, nothing. I tried not to think about it, I tried to convince myself that this is how it is when you get older, but the truth is, it's not supposed to be that way. I still remember the first Christmas Eve I spent alone, I was 20 years old, the feeling hasn't changed, it's a bitter, empty feeling that just eats at you from the inside out. I didn't want to take you all to this place, sorry. I just hate this time of year. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]11/24/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 3 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 144 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $28.80 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48

Quit Meter

$39,032.18

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1026 Hours: 12

Minutes: 43 Seconds: 7

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5719

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

171,570

Cigarettes Not Smoked

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 816

PB, I am so sorry that you felt you had to smoke, but I can understand that, having raised 3 teens myself. The important thing is that you are back here and ready to be a non smoker again, just remember there are quite a few of us who have had to start again as long as we take one day at a time we will all make it. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/8/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 111 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,443 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $555.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 14 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 21

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3207

PB, Sorry to hear you slipped, but even gladder to hear you're already on your third day of being nicotine-free. That must mean your desire to quit is stronger than your desire to smoke, right? As everyone else has said, a slip is an opportunity to learn and make your quit stronger. Like Bingo said, remember how it felt to slip. Maybe write it down so the next time you're feeling that stressed you can read it and it can help you do something else to deal with the stress. Hmm...maybe they could start a Stop Parenting Center...just for those teen years? ;p I have loads of faith in you PB. Keep in touch, okay? [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/22/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 250 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 10,000 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,700.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 34 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 7 [B]Seconds:[/B] 45

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