Heya PB.
I can tell you are obviously having a rough time right now, and you have my sympathies.
That being said, I humbly offer up the following. I aint a professional and I'm not a therapist. I'm just a guy that's been through it myself.
First off: Stop beating yourself up. By that I mean, don't get totally bogged down in self reproach. You have had a relapse. Guess what - you aren't the first and you won't be the last one to do so. We are human, and this is a very powerful addiction.
Instead, focus on how this will be a great tool to help you succeed the next time.
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* Stress was the tool the addiction used to overtake you this time. Stress is going to happen again next time. Perhaps not to the level you experienced this time, but it happens. Prepare for it.
* Think about how you feel RIGHT NOW. [b]Remember This Feeling![/b] Next time when you start thinking about how smoking will help you deal with stress, remember how you are feeling now. In the long run, the understanding that smoking DOES NOT HELP can be a powerful weapon against those thoughts.
* Would a larger arsenal of coping mechanisms have been helpful? Straws, hard candies, (my favourite) Starburst, Skittles, anything.
* Do you have anyone that can act as a support system for you? Someone you can call anytime day or night that will offer quitting support?
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I can't stress enough that the key for me was not giving up quitting. All those negative thoughts are the addiction trying to tell you it's not worth quitting again. IT IS WORTH IT. You absolutely can make this.
I really wish there was something else I could offer to you. Check out that 'Junkie Thinking' thread. It *really* spoke to me. It was a lot of the stuff I found myself saying over and over when I was quitting, and it was spot-on accurate to be sure.
Please stay in touch -
Bingo
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]4/23/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 583
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,660
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,749.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 83 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 56
