Thanks everyone for your prayers and well wishes! It really is a comfort to know that your hearts are SO [size=4]BIG[/size]!
It is so utterly bizarre here right now. We had a huge fire back in 2003 but this is so much bigger and scarier. Yesterday there were like 50 houses lost right by mine but I believe mine (and my mom's) may have been spared. I don't know when we'll be allowed to go back. We are so fortunate though because we can stay with family in a nice, safe place and my heart just aches for those people staying at the stadium.
I didn't realize how stressed out I have been until late yesterday when I noticed that my lower back has been kind of clenched up for hours. I carry all my stress there and so far it hasn't unclenched yet. I'm really tightly wound (which is pretty unusual) and it's tough to find lasting comfort. I'm at work and inside these walls it's like nothing out of the ordinary is happening. Then I remember and I tear up. Then when I get to feeling better, I'll see something unusual - like NO traffic on the freeway - and I tear up because I know why nobody is out and about.
The smoke is heavy in the air, ash and soot are all over and the sky just turns the eeriest colors.
Thanks for listening, it helps just to get some of this out. I know I'll come out of this alright and I have so much to be thankful for.
If it is at all encouraging to you new(er)bies - I haven't even thought of smoking. Furthest thing from my mind in fact; and now that I am thinking about it, it still grosses me out. I want my family to be safe, I want a sense of relief, I want a good nights sleep, I want the winds to stop, I want the heavens to crack open and pour down rain but I definitely, unequivocally do not want a cigarette.
All the best
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/5/2004
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1174
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 23,480
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $5,283.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 89 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 34 [B]Seconds:[/B] 20
-
Quit Meter
$38,324.00
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 662
Hours: 20
Minutes: 47
Seconds: 4
Life Gained
-
Quit Meter
5896
Smoke Free Days
-
Quit Meter
76,648
Cigarettes Not Smoked