Kev,
I am sorry that you are having a rough time at the moment. It is not just you - it happens to a lot of people, including me actually.
Looking back, one of the most interesting things about quitting is that you have to face yourself and you have to re-educate yourself. That's why being here means you are much more likely to succeed. I am very optimistic that you will 'make it' - probably more than you are. If you can just get through a bit longer, it starts to get easier.
This phase will not last forever - for me it started to ease at around Day 120. There is actually a scientific reason for it - to do with brain chemistry and serotonin, and how nicotene stimulates these 'feel good' areas. When you quit, it takes time before the brain wakes up and starts producing the good chemicals on its own. Hence many people have a 'down' period around where you are now.
Another thing you learn from quitting is how to succeed at something. You learn that you can actually talk yourself into either 1) succeeding 2) failing. The choice is yours. You will start to recognise "Junkie Thinking" more and more. Please know that I am not criticising you - we all have it - me too. I have thought all these things. I cried my way through month 4.
Your junkie is still alive at the moment, but that's OK. You just need to recognise that this is just a thought. It does not make it true. When you get those thoughts, you need to challenge them.
I often think that maybe I am just too addicted and that quitting is the wrong thing. - No, you are a nicotene addict. You will get through this phase.
'Life is not about how long, but how much you enjoy it' - don't be fooled - life as a non-smoker is infinitely better. Really and truly. You will laugh when you look back at this.
I have trouble saying I WILL do X if I am not sure that it is easily possible = preparing for failure. Junkie Thinking
You will get throught this.
Lizzie :)
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]4/23/2003
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1635
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 24,525
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �6,131.25
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 163 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24
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Quit Meter
$9,168.00
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 811
Hours: 4
Minutes: 10
Seconds: 46
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
6112
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
36,672
Cigarettes Not Smoked