To all members, Just remember to talk to your doctors with these questions and concerns. If you feel that you are not getting the proper care then you can always get a second opinion. Ask your doctor for a consult to see another doctor. He/she will work with you and do what is best for your health. Before you go off of any medications talk to your doctor. As an RN I have seen what coming off of meds can do to your body and your mind. Most medications have to be decreased inorder for you to go off them completely. Please be safe and seek medical advice when going off your medications. Keep us posted! Melanie _______________________________ The Panic Center Support Team

To all members, Just remember to talk to your doctors with these questions and concerns. If you feel that you are not getting the proper care then you can always get a second opinion. Ask your doctor for a consult to see another doctor. He/she will work with you and do what is best for your health. Before you go off of any medications talk to your doctor. As an RN I have seen what coming off of meds can do to your body and your mind. Most medications have to be decreased inorder for you to go off them completely. Please be safe and seek medical advice when going off your medications. Keep us posted! Melanie _______________________________ The Panic Center Support Team

hi sarah, i just want to tell you that i support your decision to stay off meds. while they may help for some people,they aren't for everyone. and if they worked to "cure" this disorder we wouldn't all be here, right? and there are a lot of risks involved with medication that just isn't worth it to a lot of us. that isn't to say that you shouldn't take it if YOU feel like you need it. but i don't think it helps in the long run because in my oppinion it's along the same lines as having a safe person, or avoiding the place or time of attacks. and you eventually have to stop taking them anyway so really the best alternative (again, just my oppinion) is to stick to your guns and go through the exposure therapy and convince your mind,body, and soul that it can not and will not cause bodily harm, mental illness, or sever embarassment. i totally understand your thinking your going to die! i have thought that so many times and thought all the doctors were totally nuts and missing something. to be honest, i still think the medical proffession is missing a vital peice of information. i am very interested in the mercury connection. have you read much about it? mainstream doc's and dentists here in the states will deny it forever and tell you your being paranoid but i've been doing a lot of reading about it and i wonder how many of us have metal fillings? not that it is the cause of all of the mind games associated with this disorder, but maybe it's what starts the symptoms and our minds and body's are just trying to survive and heal? i don't know but i wouldn't be surprised if sooner or later they finally find out that this is not just a random disorder and there is a specific cause and cure. in the meantime, we all just have to stick together and try as best as we possibly can to overcome the symptoms and not allow it to control our lives. it is actually making us stronger, because "normal people" could never handle the sypmptoms and feelings of embarassment. so just remember that you will survive, you are so much stronger than you think you are and you will not, will not go crazy. today i did something i have been avoiding for 12 years or more... i went to the dentist and got a filling. i did it without novicain because i'm terrified of the inject

Hey Rachele & Jay, Thank you for your replies. Rachele - I know what you mean by thinking that the anxiety will go away as fast as it arrived. I havent had it for long, only 2 years.. if that. And i remember the day so well when i had my first panic attack. That day changed my life. But i often wonder why that day? What happened for it to be THAT day? I guess i will never know... Jay - I didnt tell my doctor for a month about me taking myself off meds. To be honest, my life was so messed up and i was so bad that i cant actually remember what i was like on meds. I just refused to take them one day and that was that. I will never reconsider or question my decision, not now anyway. I was always told to keep moving, keep looking forward. And for me to go back on meds would be me going backwards, and i cant let that happen. Maybe i will be much better if i was on meds, but its a decision i've made, and i'm sticking to it. Does make me wonder though... Would i be able to live an easier life if i was on meds? Probably.. but i dont think that will happen. I want to be strong enough not to have them! And so thats what i'm doing.. i was always a strong person.. and i want to be like that again. I hope everything goes ok with your shrink. Sarah xxx

Sarah & Rahcele- Thanks for the posts. I understand the guilt of "having something wrong" with you. I spent many hours wondering why, why me, why this etc. From what I have learned from my Dr, we will most likely have to deal with this for the rest of our lives. Sarah, I hope you think twice about your meds. Did you have meds that helped you a lot? I too feel like I shouldn't have to have anything to help me live but then I asked myself if I would feel that way if this was heart disease or diabetes. Of course I wouldn't feel guilty for taking medicine if it was something like that so why should I feel differently just because its a mental health issue. I know for me, the meds have helped me return to a much more normal life. Without them I would probably sit in my room all day and never leave. I am doing pretty well right now, thanks for asking. I go to see my shrink tomorrow for the first time in about 10 months so I am a little anxious about that but I know it will help me in the long run. Jay

Sarah, I know your last message was for Jay but I had to write and tell you how much I understand your feeling of just being TIRED of struggling to talk to yourself. And how "sometimes" just doesn't seem like enough. I too ask myself when this nightmare will be over. After all, I didn't have it my whole life so it should be able to go away just like it came, right? I give you credit for trying to stay off medications but hope you won't make yourself suffer needlessly. While this is definitely something "in our heads" I firmly believe that parts of it are bio-chemical and have nothing to do with us. Anyway, just wanted to say I totally relate. Rachele

Hiya Jay, I agree, it is a comfort to know u arent alone with how u feel, but it can sometimes feel like it. I'm coping ok with it i guess. I try to convince myself that everything is fine, that i'm not dying... but having to do that everytime i panic gets so tiring. I try to fight off the panic by keeping busy, and i'm successful sometimes... It's just that "sometimes" never seems enough. I often ask myself what i've done.. because it feels like punishment. But i keep going, try not to let it win, and keep my chin up. I'm hoping the day will come when i dont have to try and fight anymore, when i dont have a panic attack... Do u think that day will come? I was on meds for a short while, but i've taken myself off them.... Feel like all of this is in my head, and since i am creating it, then i should cope with it and fight it on my own. I hope you are all well Sarah xxx

Sarah- Thanks for your post! I definately know how you feel. When I am having a panic attack, I feel like I am dying inside. I have had a little medical training and I know how to tell when someone is dying. Even when I check my vitals, I can't get rid of the feeling that I am dying. The most I can do is tell myself I am OK and nothing is wrong with my heart. Its comforting to know other people out there feel the same way, I just wish we didn't! How are you coping with it all? Jay

Hey guys, thanx for your replies. Donna - i know what you mean by trying to keep busy, i always try and do something to take my mind of it. And yeah, sometimes it does help, but others it becomes such an effort and such an emotional struggle i tend to feel like giving in to the feelings u know? Khris - I always try and convince myself it isnt happening, or i'm not going to die. That i am fine and try by best to talk my mind round from those feelings. And like keeping busy, sometimes it works. I think from what i have learned you have to be hard on yourself to get through the panic and not give in to it. Rachele - Talking myself out of it is only part of the battle, and i agree with you, actually making urself BELIEVE what ur telling yourself can be so difficult. It's as though those thoughts have popped into my head and theres no way of getting them out. I think it has something to do with my fear of illness, and so because of that fear i always think the worse of things, and always think that i will get ill. Vince - staying strong is something that i am determined to do. It gets so hard sometimes though. Last night i was so close to having a full blown attack again.. but i didnt let myself give in to it. Staying strong is what (i think) makes us survive the attacks and keep going. Thank you again Sarah xxx

Rachele, Thanks for being so supportive to everyone. Your words of wisdom do not go unnoticed. You have given a piece of yourself to share with all. Thank you for all your kind words to everyone Josie