Hi, I just read your posting, I am so sorry you are having a difficilt time, I am a female, my husband has walked out on me a few times, mainly due to the fact that I have angry out bursts, I feel your pain it is very frustrating and scarey, my husband had a suitcase packed all the time :O(. I understand why you become angry, the constant stress living with this thing can be too much to take. Latley I have tried to see things from his point of view, this thing is waring him down, he supports me as best he can, but it's hard for him. Last week I was at my therapist, he was not doing much to help or encourage me, he told me the last time I saw him he would try me on a new medication, however when I went back to see him he told me to come back in a fortnight????? My husband went into his office to speak to him, he said you need to help her today not in 2 weeks, it's not you that's up to 4 in the moning, at that point I realised how much of a strain this is having on him. He has been going to a support group for partners of people with this horrible thing, Is there anything in your home town your wife could go to, just to give her some time out, I hope things go well for you and your family Vikki Scotland

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have gone through something similar. Last summer my husband left me and my 3 kids out of the blue stating that I was leaning on him too much and that he was tired of always hearing about my panic disorder. At the same time he was suffering from agitated depression. 3 weeks later he came home and we continued counselling and therapy together. We are still together and still going to therapy and hopefully things will work out in the end. It's interesting you mentioned the anger/temper thing because that is basically what he has and unfortunately it feels like we're all walking on eggshells when he's like that. What I've found is that when I'm angry....I mean really angry, is that it blocks fear. I can drive anywhere, I can do anything albeit swearing and carrying on at the top of my lungs. Not such a good thing and I can't maintain it anyways but I thought it was interesting that in a rage I picked up the car keys and drove over a bridge quite a distance and all I felt was anger...no other symptoms. (normally I can not do this at all). Anyways long winded but what we've found is that my reponse to fear is more fear and his response to fear is anger. Neither being healthy responses. What I did find though in the three weeks we were apart is that I made more progress on my own than I had ever made exposure wise, unfortunately we slowly have gone back to leaning on each other and that's why I'm here. Trying to learn not to lean on him and work on this myself. Very scary, actually terrifying to give up that security blanket again. I really hope everything works out for you...maybe suggest counselling together, it really has worked for us. Lene

My wife and son came to my parent's house last night and we talked. Things look up. She has a big problem with my anger and temper...which is a product of my anxiety. It is in God's hands. Than you for your support. It is priceless!

I'm very sorry to hear the bad news...however, sometimes people do get back together after separation. My sister and her husband did six months later. My sister and all of our family siblings have had these troubles. She was sexually abused by my father, and always had trouble with men in authority over her at work. Things happen. People change. I believe there is a direct connection between having a messed up childhood and marriage difficulties in my family. I could tell from your comments six months ago, that you were afraid this might happen, when you talked about your wife going on a separate vacation. It sounds as if both of your parents are supportive of you both; I am glad that you could talk to your mother about it all,even if she has been part of your problem. Some of us don't have many people to talk to when things like this happen. Maybe your suspicions that she would leave have made your nerves worse in the past year, and that is why your other problems have come out more. Hopefully your support at the hospital where you work will help you to cope too. If you have already said "I'm sorry", for whatever you think you might have contributed to the breakup, and have tried to work on what you could, I guess that's about all you can do, besides trying to keep in touch with her or her family...for your son's sake! You have got to be strong now...think of your boy, and how you would like him to think of you going through all of this as he gets older. Give him a good role model. His experience of all this trauma will be worse than yours...so please be strong for him. Be a part of his life, even if he has to see you cry. He needs YOU too. Even with your health problems. I am thinking of my own experience now; my father had the health problems, and my mother was the more "normal" of the two, but I knew that my father loved me, even though he was really messed up. I wasn't so sure that my mother loved me. She threatened to leave us all with my father who was an alcoholic, so I felt abandoned. All of these kinds of experiences stay with you as you get older. Please try to keep in contact with your son...May God help you through this time. Whenever we feel abandoned, he is always there.

i'm alive! just feeling pretty confused!

Nurseboy, I just noticed that you were logged in..how are you???? Chanda

thanks for responding! i'll we can do is pray. she didn't leave me for the anxiety. we just don't talk much, there is no sex life, we have no time together. my anxiety makes me short tempered and sometimes i kick thinks (like baby toys) or punch the wall (rarely)...i just don't have a great outlet for stress...i never hurt her but i know that it scares her....

Nurseboy, I'm so sorry & I wish there was something I could do for you. I truly hope everything works out for you. Just curious, are the problems with you & your wife because of your anxiety problems or something else? I hope things are better very soon! Chanda

Wow. I am so sorry you are having this trouble. I don't know what to say other than I will pray for you. Please know that many of us are struggling in our personal lives.

TO MAKE MY WEEK WORSE...MY WIFE LEFT ME AND TOOK THE BABY WITH HER. SHE LEFT FOR HER MOMS HOUSE ON FRIDAY NIGHT AND CAME BACK LAST NIGHT WHILE I WAS AT WORK. I CALLED THE HOUSE AND SHE ANSWERED AND SAID SHE WAS GONNA STAY THE NIGHT BUT WAS LEAVING IN THE MORNING. SHE TOLD ME TO COME SEE THE BABY AND SHE WOULD PACK AND LEAVE THE NEXT MORNING. I TOLD HER THAT I COULDN'T DEAL WITH IT AND WANTED HER OUT BEFORE I CAME HOME BECAUSE I COULDN'T TAKE SEEING HER AND THE BABY LEAVING. SO I CALLED HER BACK AFTER THAT AND SAID THAT I WAS COMING HOME AND SHE SAID THAT HER PARENTS WERE COMING TO PACK UP EVERYTHING AND I SAID PLEASE DON'T TONIGHT...I WILL COME HOME AND WE CAN TALK. THEN, I GOT HOME AND HER PARENT'S WERE THERE AND SHE WAS PACKING SO I WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND CRIED AND GOT DRESSED AND LEFT WITHOUT HOLDING THE BABY AND HE KEPT SAYING "DADDY PLAY DADDY PLAY!". I DROVE AROUND FOR 1 1/2 HOUR AND BAWLED AND CAME HOME AND CALLED MY MOM AND SLEPT. THIS MORNING I WENT TO MY MOMS. I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE. HOW DO I COPE WITH THIS? MY SMALL TOWNHOUSE IS NOW SO BIG AND QUIET. I CAN'T LIVE AWAY FROM MY BABY BOY! HE IS EVERYTHING! MW AND MY WIFE HAS SOME PROBLEMS BUT NOT SO BAD THAT SHE LEAVES! HER MOM WAS TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT SEPERATION PAPERS...