I posted this once, but I couldn't find it using the search feature to bump it, so I'm reposting it. I feel it's a good time for this right now.
You�ve got a great quit going. But something in your life just isn�t right� so you decide to alleviate some of the pain, stress or frustration in your life by smoking �just one� cigarette. It�s awful! You start to cough. You get sick to your stomach. The smell is gut wrenching� but you somehow manage to finish the cigarette. You can�t stand the taste. You wonder how in the hell you were ever able to smoke 15, 20, 30 or more of those a day! You never thought they tasted bad then!
Five minutes later, you finish the cigarette. Remorse sets in. �How can I ever tell everyone at the SSC what I did? What will they say? Do I reset my meter?� All of these questions start running through your head. You start to panic. You feel SO bad! You think to yourself, �How could I do this to myself?�
Then you post � what you KNOW you should have done ahead of time. The responses are pretty much what you thought they would be� a good mix of support, encouragement and tough love. You read so many posts that say �pick yourself up, dust yourself off.� And so, your resolve is back! You throw away the rest of the pack or tell the person you bummed one from NOT to give you anymore. You are GOING to win this! You WILL be successful.
Several days go by, and your resolve is still strong. You start to think that maybe that cigarette cleared your mind� almost therapeutic. It helped you renew your decision to quit and you vow that you�ll NEVER do it again! Your resolve hasn�t been this strong since the day you quit! You just KNOW that this is it!
Then, life crashes down on you again. Your resolve starts to falter. �This is WAY worse than the last time!� you think to yourself. You�re bombarded with cravings and smoking thoughts. They consume you! You can�t think about anything else! Your brain is begging for a cigarette! It�s hard to do your job because you can�t concentrate on ANYTHING other than smoking! �I HAVE to work! I NEED to stop thinking about smoking!� You think, �How can I make it through this smoke free? I can�t handle quitting AND this right now!� You think, �I was fine last time after my slip. Nothing bad happened. I didn�t really crave TOO much, and I didn�t go back to smoking like everybody said!� So, you start to bargain with yourself, �OK, I can smoke now, but this is IT! I will NEVER smoke after THIS one!�
So, you smoke again. Again, you start to cough. You can�t stand the smell. You�re sick to your stomach. All of that over again, but yet, it seemed like a good idea at the time. There was NO way you were going to stop thinking about smoking until you smoked, so you did it to shut up the smoking thoughts in your head. You HAD to, right?
Again, you come to the SSC and post. Again, you KNOW that you should have done it BEFORE you smoked, but you weren�t near a computer or �it just happened so fast, I couldn�t stop it!� This time, the posts are a little less sympathetic. You get a few more �tough love� posts� maybe even a hard @$$ post thrown in there as well. You may even get mad because they said some really harsh things� but deep inside, you know that they�re right. And you KNOW that you really do WANT to stay quit! So, you get back to the quit.
A few days, weeks or even months go by and then life comes crashing down again� or perhaps this time, you�re out drinking and have a little too much to drink. Either way, you�re in a tough situation again�
What will stop you from smoking THIS time??? They say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. So what�s different this time? Why not smoke? This is the question that so many are faced with after they slip� especially if they slip more than once!
Crave the Quit!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]6/17/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 761
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 19,025
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3,142.93
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 53 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 59 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6