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Ask for help...put it in writing


4 years ago 0 2778 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Great thread to bump up to the top, Timbo! I am still in contact with Ladycigavictor and she is doing great! The bottom line is that we may both may not still be kicking if we had not found this site and conquered the nico-demon!

There is a wealth of information on this site and in these forum threads that can help anyone with almost any issues they may happen to encounter on their journey to freedom! Use the search function with key words about what is bothering you or keeping your from maintaining your quit. The answers are here, even though the quick responses you are looking for are not. Back years ago, fellow quitters were on this site hours a day, ready to read and and offer support. Today, the number of people still monitoring the threads aren't as many, but some are out there. they just need to post and say howdy and get involved and try to offer words of encouragement. It really helps to ask for help initially and offer words of encouragement whenever you can.

Anyways, like I always said, read and learn and eventually everyone here can defeat the nico-demon!

wishing you all well on this journey to freedom!

Jim

  • Quit Meter

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    Days: 1053 Hours: 4

    Minutes: 59 Seconds: 18

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5 years ago (Edited 4 years ago) +1 796 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Bump up for new users. An old thread but a good one.Good reading from Ladycigevictor. Welcome to SSC.  You've just found the best place on earth to help you quit smoking.   

Congratulations on your decision to quit or even for just thinking about quitting.  Beating nicotine addiction isn't easy, but it's do-able.  If I can do it, anyone can.  I fully intended to die as a smoker, woke up unable to breathe one night and changed my mind. 

Here's a letter I wrote to my family and friends (I borrowed some of this from another quitter and made it my own).  Maybe it will help you.  Feel free to copy it, edit it and make it yours too.  You should know that none of the dreadful things I thought I might do or say or feel ever happened....so in my case this letter was not even needed! 

I'd wish you luck in quitting, but it's not luck we need.  It's the knowledge and preparation to replace our fears that give us the power to set ourselves free. 

Smile 
Pat 

Date _____ 
Dear _____ , 

I am about to change my life for the better. I am going to quit smoking on _______. I just wanted to write this letter to you so you know what to expect for the next couple of weeks, since the process of withdrawal can be very challenging for me, and for those around me. (Most people do not realize it, but nicotine addiction is literally one of the hardest drugs to kick, even harder than heroin). 

Everyone reacts to the withdrawal symptoms differently, but in general, during the first two weeks (Hell Week and Heck Week), don't expect much from me. I will most likely not be my normal self. All of my attention will literally be taken up with fighting the physical and mental urges to smoke. I may cry, I may yell, I may ignore you. Worst of all, I may say very hurtful things to you, but I want you to know that this is the nicotine talking, not my heart. I WILL apologize afterwards, once the poison has left my body and my mind has cleared, but for the moment, please, PLEASE remember that I love you, and let it roll off your back. 

You need to know that when a smoker quits, the body and the mind will try almost anything to trick the user into taking another puff. I may rationalize that "now is not a good time". I may question the worth of my existence. I may talk about feeling a sense of emptiness and loss. My body may develop aches and pains. I may not be able to sleep. I may act like the pain I am experiencing is all your fault. 

But be aware that I am doing this for ME, not for you. In this one important way, I have to be selfish, so that I cannot give the nicotine a reason to put the blame on anyone else. So you must not feel responsible for my discomfort and depression. Even if you feel you can't stand to see me this way, whatever you do, do NOT tell me it's OK to smoke, just to stop the pain. You have to be strong when I am weak, so do not agree with any "junkie thinking" I may come up with. 

Here are 10 things you CAN do to help: 
1·  Be there when I need a hug, but don't be hurt when I push you away. 
2·  If I tell you to leave me alone, give me space, but don't go too far...I need to know you are near no matter what the nicotine says. 
3·  Don't try to argue with me when I start to rationalize...silence is a more powerful message. 
4·  Avoid the topic of cigarettes (because I'm trying to get them off my mind), unless I bring it up first. 
5·  Do the best you can to act as if everything is normal. The more "normal" you act, the faster I will get there. 
6·  Consciously avoid putting me into situations where I will be in the presence of smokers. This may mean avoiding favorite restaurants or bars, or hanging out with certain friends for awhile. 
7·  Consciously avoid letting me get into stressful situations...if something stressful can be put off for a couple of weeks, please try to do so. If not, please try to cushion me. 
8.  Help me avoid "trigger" situations...places or activities where I usually light up. (For example, don't plan long road trips for the next couple of weeks if I usually smoke in the car). 
9.  Just keep telling me it will get better, that the emptiness and pain will fade, that you love me, and that this effort is worth it. 
10.  Tell me I am strong. Tell me you are proud of me. But also, tell me you will be there no matter what I say or do. 

I just wanted to prepare you because the first two weeks are usually the worst, but be aware that it doesn't suddenly get better...it will be a gradual process. Also, please be aware that while I am doing this quit for me, you and those around me will benefit as well. I will be free from the shackles of needing to know where the closest cigarette store is. I will be free of the smell and stains. I will be free of an early death. And I will be free to spend more quality time with those I love and care about. 

Thank you in advance for helping me through this. 
 Not One Puff Ever 

Bump up for new quitters.

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11 years ago 0 2778 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I thought it was time to bump this thread up for our newest members.  Great read and good ideas here!
 
            Jim
  • Quit Meter

    $44,002.50

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    Days: 1053 Hours: 4

    Minutes: 59 Seconds: 18

    Life Gained

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    Smoke Free Days

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    176,010

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12 years ago 0 3875 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
More help for quitting!
12 years ago 0 3207 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sorry this is a little late, Kristen, but I thought it might help you to get more of the support you need. Just took me a while to find it
-aloha 
12 years ago 0 2534 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
bump
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13 years ago 0 3875 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
bump
13 years ago 0 3207 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Two great posts in here....My good buddy LadyCigevictor had the sincere approach...and Rusty the hilarious one. Both very helpful
14 years ago 0 3875 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
bump for newbies
 

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 3/5/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 1036
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 25,900
Amount Saved: $10,929.80
Life Gained:
Days: 142 Hrs: 16 Mins: 15 Seconds: 27

14 years ago 0 1843 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Pat, thanks for bumping this! 
My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/20/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 330
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 13,200
Amount Saved: $3,300.00
Life Gained:
Days: 49 Hrs: 7 Mins: 40 Seconds: 51


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