Hello everyone,
my name is Val and I'm a stay-at-home-mom of 2, my youngest will turn 2 in 2 days and my other kid will start school now in Sept..
At the moment I feel very stressed and use smoking as my 'time-out' (I don't smoke inside the house!).
I'm somehow feeling so defeated by my addiction as I started smoking again all the time shortly after having quit (4x).. [Not counting my 2 pregnancies, as this was something entirely different, in my opinion. Both times I quit as soon as I got the positive result, but back then it was more for their health than for my own, you know!?]
Due to my husband wanting to quit (Doc found something under his tongue which had to be removed and he was told it could develop into cancer if he'd continue smoking..) I'm wanting to give it another try -this time for good!!!
We both have always been 'partners in crime' when it came to smoking; one of us would be motivated to quit, the other followed, but gave in and shortly the other one followed aswell.. This time I know my husband won't give in his addiction though, as the thought of cancer scares him.. -and me too!
On one hand I'm looking forward to fresh smelling clothes and not to stink like an ashtray (even though I'm already now 'crazy' enough to spray myself with 'Febreeze' after having had one; aswell as using mouth wash to eliminate the nastyness as good as possible before I get back to my kids) and to all the other benefits.. and on the other hand I'm really afraid of the first week! The past times I've tried cold turkey (especially during the pregnancies) aswell as nicotine patches (gum etc. made me nauseous) but I felt like losing a 'friend' and went through hell! All symptoms of a bad withdrawl, including going through the trash in the garage where I put the cigarette buds and ash and looking for tiny stubs that I'd still smoke!*YUCK*
And then there's also the feeling of actually 'liking/enjoying' smoking!.. I know, the taste itself is nothing great, for not saying it's yucky...
I set my quit date for next Monday as it gives me a bit time to prepare, yet not too much to postpone it again!.. Besides, my husband will have a 2nd biopsy taken from his tongue on Mo. and I know, latest then he won't smoke anymore.. (It sounds stupid to focus on my husband when making a decision for myself/my own health, but like I said before, we're 'partners in crime' and I always gave in when he went and bought a pack, no matter how determined I was before..)
Thanks for reading my 'story'!!! Sorry for all the babbling...:blush:
~Val
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/16/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] -5
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] -75
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $-16.50
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] -28119