Princess, Butterfly Swimmer summed this up nicely in a previous post. [quote] Quitting is about re-defining who you are, how you cope with emotions, what you do during breaks, where you hang out [/quote] We all go through it... You can not fight it, you have to embrace it. if you don't it will eat you up from the inside & you know what the outcome of this will be good work on the Stats btw [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 923 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 32,305 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $5,999.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 131 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18

Not sure if you stay at home or go to work. But for me I had such little free time at work, every free moment or break I would be running to the smoke area to poison myself. Morning break- Chain puffing a few to get that morning coat of tar in my thoat and lungs has been replaced with walking with a friend a few laps around the parking lot. Abt 3/4 mile Lunch - My after lunch desert chemicals including the smoke and stink influxation has been replaced with Aerobic exercise then sneaking fresh fruit back to my desk. Afternoon - My afternoon dose of nicotine and daily narrowing of my artieries has been replaced with three games of Ping Pong. Am I new person? YES! Do I know who I am? Maybe not, but I know I don't like who I was! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/3/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 70 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,750 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $245.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 10 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35

princess I guarantee you that you are not alone in this. Your description of your experience goes right into my heart and out the other side. I call this being an "emotive smoker"...We smoked in order to deal with our emotions...ie get angry...smoke, get hurt...smoke, get sad...smoke and on and on... You see nicotine has told us a big lie...because nicotine increases the rate and level of certain neurotransmitters that in turn effect our moods, we have falsely believed that "our friends" have been our emotional regulator...The truth is that we have been self-medicating for years. Instead of dealing with how we feel in a given situation, we instead choke the smoke and everything is alright...And that is why you feel so alien...You are in a very real sense being born again...don't be afraid of that, but celebrate the fact that you are becoming more and more like you...and that is the way it should be... Here is a little bit I wrote early in my quit that helped me express this feeling of being emotionally adrift...Sometimes I have to write stuff like this so I can understand what is going on with me...Maybe you will see a bit of you in it too Hello Friends: For to many years I have been emotionally attached to the world by an umbilical chord of thin blue smoke. This journey has caused me to take a look at why I allowed myself to develop such a sad relationship with the world. This has actually been useful to me in stopping, because I need to understand the whole of it in order to change the pieces around. Smoking has been a part of me for a long long time. And make no mistake; I have been its willing companion. An amazing magician is this substance. When I was hurt it told me everything would be alright as long as I didn't actually feel the pain. And I believed it. And I never learned to grieve. When I got angry it told me everything would be alright as long as I didn't defend myself. And I believed it. And I never learned to communicate. When I was afraid, it told me everything would be alright as long as I never tasted the fear. And I believed it. And I never learned to cope. When I was happy, it convinced me it was my friend as long as I took it to the party. And I believed it. And I never felt total joy. Keep working yourself free, princess, your going to like who you are... nonic [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]12/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 186 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,580 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,302.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 34 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 26 [B]Seconds:[/B] 47

Alright, I'm really not a toddler. I'm a part time lawyer/jailer/undertaker. (just teasing Tom:) Seriously, this thread hits home with me on many points. I appreciate all the truth and honesty. If my brain weren't so scattered right now I'd share what I'm thinking... so I'll just tell you this, so you know how I'm feeling:) Remember those kinds of moments? (sigh:) Time for a walk... but I'll have many great thoughts to take with me! mk [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]6/11/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 18 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 270 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $72.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 31 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24

That is so true! Thank you Lainey. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/15/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 106 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,120 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $445.20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 17 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 45

Hi Tom! I don't think you'll have to take back being a hypocrit! You kids are old enough and smart enought to realize that the day you put out that last cigarette and continued to stay smoke free day to day, you proved to them by example, what the new Tom can do! They've learned it school, they have heard how hard it is to quit. Ever parent does the "Do what I say, not what I do." thing, but what you have done is shown them, "This is how it is done" I am enjoying this new emergence of sorts, because I was a kid when I started smoking, so now I can find out who I am without the smokescreen shielding me from everything. Don't worry about bashing...I am not a lawyer! LOL :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/5/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 112 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,800 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,181.60 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 13 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 43

Okay, I admit it. I made fun of politicians in my last post. I know what you're thinking, he made fun of jailors, undertakers and lawyers too in a recent post. Is anyone safe? There's some filtering going on here but not a lot. I'm putting my thoughts in these little windows and I believe I'm using these titles figuratively (though that's probably you know what). [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/15/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 102 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,040 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $428.40 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 16 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51

That's a good thought Lainey, reinventing yourself. But I'm wondering, if I do that will I have to update my resume...No, seriously...I thought of something I would like to change now. I don't want to be a hypocrit! For years I told my children not to smoke because it's bad and yet I would light up. I knew it was bad but it's okay, I'll quit when I'm ready. I have an uncomfortable tolerance (and capacity) for hypocracy because I once smoked and hypocracy was a coping mechanism for smoking. I want to "unlearn" this political skill, I no longer need it. It doesn't serve any aspect of the new me. It has no redeemable qualities. Do you see what I mean? [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/15/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 102 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,040 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $428.40 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 16 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 40 [B]Seconds:[/B] 23

Princess! Most of us started smoking when we were teenagers, and smoked for 20 -30+ years. The people we were way back then has long been lost in the smoke! You need to look at this quit as an opportunity to find out who you are as a non smoker! Who is princess without the cigarette? You're not 16 any more, so of course you won't find the person you were then...you have grown and changed over the years! And if you have having some trouble, now you can take the opportunity to reinvent yourself. You can be whatever you want to be, can't you? How are you doing today? :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/5/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 112 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,800 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,181.60 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 13 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 19 [B]Seconds:[/B] 20

Hi, Tom, nice to see you. This is a great thread, guys. I have had the "wow, so THAT'S an emotion" moments in this quit & I love it, I like my non-smoking self way better. I smile more, feel better & while I absolutely run into situations that I used to let the junkie deal with, I'm truly grateful to have this second chance to learn how to experience them myself. I don't feel any sadness or as if I'm missing anything. I feel 10 years younger & 100% more optimistic than I did 40-odd days ago. Maybe that will change as I get further along & if it does, I will know I'm not crazy & come back to this post & it will help me not smoke & that's the cool thing about this !!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/13/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 43 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 860 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $473.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 20 [B]Seconds:[/B] 22