Thanks everyone for the encouragement, support, and a lot of ideas to think about. Looking back at my recent history I now see there is more of a pattern than I realised. I am a real control freak and do not adjust well to any change in routine. The control also extends to trying to suppress my emotions. I have enough insight to know that this just causes a pressure cooker to form which explodes later on increasing the chance of me having a panic attack. My need for control even makes it difficult for me to do deep relaxation. I tend to tense up rather than relax. The point a couple of you made about me seeing the current 3-4 good days as a pattern and expecting a panic attack on the 4th day is true. By focussing on the time between attacks, I am just creating a self fulfilling prophecy that will occur on or close to each 4th day. I guess it all comes down to moving from being aware of what needs to change and actually making the change to my thoughts and behaviour. In particular to move away from an all or nothing approach to both the panic and the good days. Thanks again for giving more insight into where my current pattern is coming from. I really appreciate your support.

Aldren, I was just reading your post and was wondering if maybe you have caused yourself to be on the cycle of a few good days then a couple of bad ones. I know I've done this myself. If you have had 3 good days maybe then you begin to think oh no tomorrow is day number 4 so I'm probably going to have a bad day. Or even if you just think I have been doing really well for a few days, the bomb must be going to drop any day now. these kind of thoughts will bring the panic and anxiety on. I use to keep a record of how many days I could go without anxiety and panic, at that time I thought this was a good thing because I would see that I could go 10 or 12 days without any problem, but it ended up making things worse because once I went to a certain point of being panic free, I would worry that it would be ending soon and all of the worrying would make me anxious and panic.

Wow! There's some great thoughts here that I can really use. Aldren - I can totally relate to the cycle you are describing. For myself, I notice that my anxiety usually follows behind the actual stressor. Sometimes, it takes days (just when the stress clears up...the panic starts - all it needs is a trigger). I can really relate to your statement of "The constant cycle of panic attacks followed by feeling calm followed by panic attacks again is getting me down." If I have them infrequently, I can manage...if I get many in a row...it's difficult to pick myself up and stay optimistic. I hope this forum can help provide the added lift. It seems that panic sufferers are "all or nothing". I'm either all well...or I'm a complete failure. Not too much middle of the road... :)

Hi Aldren, I suffer similar episodes to yours. A few days with no panic and some of those days I feel really great but then others are consumed with anxiety but no attack. Then of course the bomb drops...I may have a pain in my chest or upper back and suddenly that makes my heart go crazy. My partner is trying to convince me as well as my Dr. that I do not have a history of heart trouble( my grandmother did die of a heart attack when she was 64) but she was the only one in my family to have been diagnosed with a heart condition. This a.m I faced my fear of being left alone and i succeeded! It's possible I may have another panic attack in the future but all we can do is teach our minds that we are o.k. Keep us posted. rose

Hi Aldren, I can relate to your attitude of wanting to overcome this without medication and doctors. That's what I'm doing too, and so far so good. I believe that we all do what works best for us, as individuals. Just wanted you to know you're not alone in your approach. I think it's safe to say all panic sufferers are perfectionists in some way or another. It's that fear of losing control. Anyway I've thought of a few things to offer you. Are you a fairly organised person? If so, could be that subconsciously you've got yourself in this routine. This'd make the pattern quite easy to turn into habit, if you thrive on routine. Could be that you're afraid of being happy. So for every good day you have, there's got to be a payment made. Like umm As soon as you let your guard down and enjoy life, something is going to creep up on you and take it away. So having nothing to lose is a way of protecting your feelings. Do these good days, bad days follow a pattern of days. For example maybe they follow the days you look forward to and the ones you dread. Like work days and weekends. Peoples immunity can be effected according to the days/activities we like and dislike. Having panic disorder would magnify this. The Moon, as silly as it sounds, effects us too. Emergency rooms always get an influx on a full moon. Effects our brain in a similar way it effects the tides. I nearly always freak out at night when theres a full moon. I kinda have a pattern like you. But it's a little harder to predict. A lot of my cycle comes down to my period though. I realised I needed a balance. I'm a fairly manic personality. I overcome this by balancing my moods. Trying to meet the two extremes in the middle. I'm doing this by adjusting my attitude towards life. I was afraid that if I relaxed, I'd lose who I am. I like who I am, and didn't want to change it. What I didn't realise is that I wasn't enjoying who I am. Relaxing and meeting the two extremes in the middle has made me enjoy my moods, instead of fearing them. Helps me to feel out of reality rather than fear too. Maybe this is something you can relate to as well. hope this has been helpful, keep us posted. :)

Thanks for reply redface, I appreciate your support. You are right to say that I should focus on the fact that on the majority of days I am panic free. Yesterday was a bad day for me. I was anxious all day and had several panic attacks. At night I eventually forced myself to face the panic and go to bed. Up to then I was pacing around the house. I eventually fell off to sleep and today was a good day with no panic. Reading through the postings I know that many people are doing it much harder than me. I guess it is part of my perfectionist streak that if I am not panic free all the time, I think am a complete failure. I'm not on any medication and am not seing a Doctor. I have tried that in the past and it did not work for me. This time I am trying to do it through the program and the support of people like you and the rest of the community on this site.

I was having the same problem in a way; time without any and then having them in a particular fashion. Well, I told the doctor about it, and he doubled my dosage of anti-anxiety medication. Since then, two weeks ago; although I still get tense at times, I have not had a panic attack in two weeks. Perhaps you are still not calm enough yet to be free of it. I am so happy that they are under control now for the most part! Maybe you should talk to your doctor about it too. Or perhaps following along with the Panic Program will help enough to get the general anxiety down. I wish you peace, I give you my peace...

My panic attacks are following a fairly regular pattern at the moment. For 3 to 4 days I'm completely free of them and then I have a bad day with several panic attacks. There is no consistent thing that I am aware of that is triggering the panic attacks themselves or when or where they occur. The constant cycle of panic attacks followed by feeling calm followed by panic attacks again is getting me down. Does anybody else have this sort of experience and any ideas for coping with it? I am working through the program and am finding it very good. It is great to have found a group of people who really understand the feelings associated with a panic attack. I challenge the anxious and negative thoughts once I have calmed down from the panic attack and can gradually adopt a more positive view of things. The trouble is it only seems to last for a few days.