Oh guys. I hear you. Here I am at 114 dyas!!!! I really cannot believe it. But I have been where you are too. The pain is clear in my brain and my heart. I had angst, hurt, tears, anger and no posisitves in sight. And all the "think positive" in the world did not help me. I was down and I wanted to rage. And my God, rage I did.
Then something happened. Somewhere around the 100 days, something changed, another change, another progression and it all felt way easier again. How simple, compared to those days of angst. You keep on putting one foot in front of the other. There are many things to be faced, many challenges - both major and minor, to be dealt with, learned from and about, and fought through if need be. But it isn't about smoking. It's about dealing with all of those WITHOUT smoking, because that's what you wanted to do. Learn to live life as a non-smoker.
Hang on, by the skin of your teeth or your bleeding finger nails if need be and remind yourselves the "pain" is NOT screaming "have a smoke". It is screaming "here is one more thing for you to learn to deal with on this new path as a non smoker".
Over the weekend, I had some quite strong craves again and couldn't figure out why. And then realised, I spent the weekend decorating. First time smoke free. In the past, I would have spent the weekend painting, then going out resting with a smoke, then back in painting, then back out for a smoke. One more "new" step to take. One more thing to do as the non-smoking me.
It will come. Have faith. Remind yourself this isn't about whether or not to smoke. You decided 60 or 70 or whatever it was days ago, you don't want to DO that. It's about learning the new you and until you are secure in that, putting one foot in front of the other until an easier moment/hour/day comes along.
Thinking about you.
Serenity X
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/10/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 114
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,018
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �684
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 24 [B]Seconds:[/B] 21
