Dear Blotchy: I think you explained my feelings well, and you have been trying to cope with it in your own way; and I did that too for many years. When I finally got up the courage to see a doctor about it, I approached my family doctor, with another friend, who was more seriously depressed than I was. Actually I had two friends at the time, who's symptoms of depression were much worse than mine; and in helping them, I found the strength to help myself as well. I got them to the doctor, and the hospital; and broke down in tears with the family doctor when I first explained my depression and panic symptoms. Since then I have learned a lot about the whole thing. But as you said, I still struggle with the body I have been given that wants to broadcast my feelings for me; which does bring out more attention from others, and exaserbates the problem. There are many medications that people take for this problem; they first started me on SSRI's , Paxil and Clonazepam, or some other pam.
Paxil is for depression and anxiety, and the other pams, are tranquilizers of sorts. Before I left my country, I was taking Effexor XR which had less side effects, and sometimes tranquilizers for sleep. Now I am living in another country, and I am taking three medications at the moment, which are not available in North America. One is an SNRI, Seretonin and Neophrin reuptake inhibitor, and the other is an anti-anxiety specific medication; probably a tranquilizer of some sort, twice a day. Recently they doubled my dose of this one. And three times a day I take another natural medication; but I am not sure about what it is or how it works. I have been avoiding drugs for about four years now; and in place of them I was taking Chinese medicine, and sometimes herbal sleep remedies from the internet; but they do not work as well as the drugs; and perhaps depending on my needs, I would rather go with the drugs now, after trying alternatives. I guess I feel like you that it is very difficult to define intermediate sources of social phobia, that might work towards ending my panic attacks, however, I will continue to try, especially now that I feel more confident on the medications. Let us keep track of our progress and share our experiences. In the meantime, if anyone else out