my wife has agreed to quit this morning cold turkey we bought candy and what ever u need, she has smoked twice today, can u quit while still sneeking drags, she has smoked 21 years, im there for her but let me ask this how can i support her if she doent support her self and quit smoking all together, she needs a mentor, none of her tools including the messenger works, would anyone like to mentor her please!!!!

mylife: I noticed that you are posting, not you're wife who is doing the quit. Don't get me wrong, I love your support. I am quiting today and at one point responded to your wife. My husband does an incredible job of empathizing considering that he doesn't have an addictive bone in his body. I smoked for 14 years, quit for 11 and smoked for the past three years. The first major quit involved my husband's support. I relied upon him unrealistically. I told him crazy things like "Hold my cigarettes and don't give them to me, no matter what". We were young and stupid. If I told him that today, he would turn around and throw them in the trash and I would be grateful. I can only imagine how difficult it is to watch your wife go through this agony. I can tell you that this site is cool in that you don't have to be quit to participate. She can continue to participate in anticipation of her quit. I can also tell you that this can be a long road. My first quit took me several years of baby quits to be successful. I am hoping that this one is better. Just remember that this is a physical addiction as well as an emotional one and she is to be commended in even being willing to explore her emotional make up as related to the smoke. Again,I'm sorry for your degree of helplessness and admire your support. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/19/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 10 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 28

Mylife She has to find her way; you have to find your way. Easy stuff. You can't do her quit; she can't do yours. Dunedude offers to help you with this -- take advantage. Pay attention to Dunedude and more important, to yourself. Not to anyone else. The quit is all about you, buddy. I'm also at your beck and call. peteg [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/30/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 19 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 994 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $104.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 50

I am new ...completely newbie...Hey look at my stats!! 11 proud days....nontheless. I am not sure if I am mentor quality but....There is one question I would have for her...Are you quitting because you want to, or have to, or pressured to?..The answer to any of those will determine the outcome of her quit. I have said for years when asked when I was going to quit-- "I will quit when I am dam good and ready". Recently, I became ready, with no pressure I talked to doc about plan of attack. I will help any way I can, I have my own demons to deal with, as everybody in this community, new and old. Part of the therapy, I think is counseling others, and re affirming your commitment to stay quit. Now, that e-mail address is just for this right? I mean you arent really stressed out to the max are you? If so,lets start by chilling out a bit, it is all a frame of mind...I have seen here, when people say "I am 'trying' to quit, They are straight out ordered to get that word "trying" or "attempting" out of the vocabulary. Because after day 1 you have successfully quit smoking for one day... Hope this helps...and let her do it on her terms..if she is ready. I will e-mail you my adresss if wanted--Kevin [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 11 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 235 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $50.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 5 [B]Seconds:[/B] 29

Hi mylife This isn't going to be what you want to hear but I think you "might" be making it worse. Every time somebody criticized me for smoking or tried to "make" me quit smoking, the more I smoked. I smoked because it was what I did to deal with stress, I smoked because I thought "To hell with them", and I smoked because I wasn't ready to quit. This quit is for me. It's not for anybody else. In fact, my hubby is still smoking and I don't criticize (he will quit when he is ready). I appreciate the support that I get from family and friends but the only people who have any idea how hard it is to quit are the people who have tackled this addiction just like me. Please just be patient, offer support and confidence that she will do this when the time is right for her. Windy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 69 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,398 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $345 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 11 [B]Seconds:[/B] 44

It's hard to quit smoking.....some of us can't just up and do it on a whim.....we need to make "plans". One important step is to realize that you are addicts and just exactly what that means. Truck around the internet and read up on nicotine addiction.....and how withdrawal works. There is a ton of information on this very site....to the left are tools....the quit program workbook being a good one. read this...it gives you an idea what goes on when you stop pumping nicotine into your bloodstream...do a google search for "quit smoking the first 72 hours"....there will be an article about quitting smoking and what happens during that time. quitting means NO smoking....you can't quit and continue to smoke....not even one a day...as long as you continue to put nicotine back into your bloodstream, your body with continue to demand it.....quitting is quitting....period. You need to remove yourself from all tobacco products. Clean your home, car, coats, purses, etc. of ALL tobacco products. finding even an month old butt can be a disaster to a new quitter in the throws of a craving. You need to learn how to distract and delay.....you must learn that cravings will go away even when you "don't" light up. But it helps considerably if you distract yourself when they come on :) If you turn out to be the type that just goes wild when you think of quitting, perhaps you should consider using nicotine replacement therapy to "wean" you from nicotine. visit your family doctor.....there are medications that help a lot with quitting. There is no shame in using aids to quit....the object is to give up smoking....it doesn't matter how you arrive there. and you can't [u]get[/u] your wife to quit....quitting is VERY personal. You can support, yes, but she has to want to quit....a quitter has to want to quit worse than they want to smoke. If you are a non smoker, then you can't possible understand what a nicotine addict is going through. She will possibly feel angry about this fact? She may lash out at you? Getting free from nicotine is one of the most difficult addictions to overcome. Really WANTING it is the first step. Then studying and knowing what lies ahead....then planning how to get "through" what lies ahead. Do your reading...

mylife, You have to let her quit for herself and you can provide support. You quit comes first and even though what she might be doing annoys you, this may be her way of trying it out. Don't worry she will get there in her own time :) How to Log Into the new SSC Quitting Buddies Instant Messenger: 1. Log into the SSC. 2. Go to the SSC Support Group home page. 3. Click the word �Launch� (this will be right above the main forums table on the SSC Support Group Home Page) 4. Voila! You are logged in and ready to chat with other SSC members who are logged in and have the Web-Based IM Open. How to Add Members: 1. Log into the SSC. 2. Launch the SSC Quitting Buddies Instant Messenger. 3. Click �Add buddy�(the blue bubble under each members name) 4. You can now begin chatting with your Buddy If you have any questions or comments, or if you receive any errors, please contact us by clicking the �Feedback� button at the bottom of the page. Keep Strong, Josie ______________________ The SSC Support Team.