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The Rookery


penguin
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18 years ago 0 1306 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I am suprised that I am feeling so good about things still (There is that self-sabotaging thing). I have had very few craves, if any, in 8 days. I don't even remember when the last trigger was - like when you say "Let's have a smoke" If I have them, they are delayed. So that is good. I still have a lot of smoking thoughts I guess, but I think yesterday, I had a stretch of 30 minutes where I didn't think about it. Kind of shocked me. I am disturbed with anxiety at night still. It's like I am constantly struggling to get enough air. I'm constantly wanting to take that BIG BREATHE, and I'm constantly repositioning so that I can do that. So in thinking about it, because I constantly over-think everything, I'm wondering - Am I relearning how to breathe or is this an anxiety thing. What is going on? I'm at a loss of what to do about it. Any suggestions? [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 8 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 169 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $92 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 7

  • Quit Meter

    $334,002.53

    Amount Saved

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    Days: 6170 Hours: 9

    Minutes: 17 Seconds: 27

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    45911

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    688,665

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penguin
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penguin
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18 years ago 0 1306 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks RD Man for your suggestions. I have been doing breathe awareness since I started this thing to go along with the mindfulness. Last night, I was trying all kinds of things - small short breathes, big long breathes, and not breathing. I'm just finding it frustrating. But I did have the idea that today I would get on the treadmill and start running - maybe give the lungs a workout. It almost seems like the intercostal muscles or diaphragm are not strong enough. I'm sure that this is true. I am very out of shape. I also wondered about caffeine. I have cut down the caffeine intake by half, since that's what triggered my painic attack, and I was doing better until last night and again today, I just feel anxious - like I don't know what to do. So I'm trying to keep busy. Thanks for the info. Trying to feel in control today. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 8 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 169 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $92 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54

  • Quit Meter

    $334,002.53

    Amount Saved

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    Days: 6170 Hours: 9

    Minutes: 17 Seconds: 27

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    45911

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    688,665

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penguin
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penguin
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18 years ago 0 1306 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
11 days ago, I gave in and smoked. I just barely made it home without giving in again. What's up with Day 11. And what's up with that panic attack. I felt like I was going insane. There was just a battle going on in my mind - a different thought every second. So many of the words spoken here went through my head, and the Junkie had quite a few prepared as well. OHHHHHHHHHHH. That was hard. I made it through, but someone is in there, lurking, knowing I just barely made it through. See, he's talking right now. STOP THE INSANITY!!!!!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 10 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 213 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $115 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 52

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    $334,002.53

    Amount Saved

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    Days: 6170 Hours: 9

    Minutes: 17 Seconds: 27

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    45911

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    688,665

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penguin
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penguin
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18 years ago 0 1306 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Yes jbr we made it 10 days. Lookin at 10 more.\ A big hump in the road yesterday, but I had help getting over. Lady - NO I'm not sleeping!!!!! Last night was the worst ever. Up at 1:45 am and never got back to sleep. And the night sweats - arghh. You did help me yesterday. At one point, I went to hide under the covers, but it wasn't working, and I said "OK you know what Lady would say - one foot in front of the other - Get up, get your pants and your boots on, and get out." You did say that didn't you.....You didn't. Great - now I'm hearing voices. There good voices though. I am in control of life today! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 10 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 208 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $115 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 20 [B]Seconds:[/B] 22

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    $334,002.53

    Amount Saved

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    Days: 6170 Hours: 9

    Minutes: 17 Seconds: 27

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    45911

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    688,665

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penguin
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penguin
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18 years ago 0 1306 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
And on we go!!!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 11 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 231 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $126.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 1 [B]Seconds:[/B] 12

  • Quit Meter

    $334,002.53

    Amount Saved

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    Days: 6170 Hours: 9

    Minutes: 17 Seconds: 27

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    45911

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    688,665

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penguin
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penguin
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18 years ago 0 1306 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It is snowing rather heavily here today. Looking out my windows in the various directions, I can't see the road, the river, or the neighbors on either side. "I'm in my own little world here," I thought and then I had an idea. Maybe I could borrow RD Man's idea and make my own little world - here on the SCC. It would be different though - cause I'm a Penguin not a man. I need a place of my own, where others can come, (You don't have to be a Penguin) to listen or to talk about their own little worlds, or if they can, give me pointers on how to do this flying thing. I was told it's an impossible feat for a Penguin - flying that is - and well that made me mad. So I have decided, that this Penguin will fly......Somehow I will figure it out.....in my Rookery. And When I do.....I'm gonna fly right into that guys yard, bring all my friends and make a new home. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL (That's me and all my friends) So here is the start, because I've already said I'm not looking back at those other days. On Day 3- I have been concentrating hard on not letting the Junkie have any control over my thoughts. I have started using the practice of Mindfulness - where I watch those thoughts. It is tricky and I have a lot of practicing to do, but I see that it can be beneficial for me not to let those thoughts come through me like a runaway train, and then I get hijacked. Along with this practice is being aware of your breathe. It is amazing how this works and it quickly brings you back into the moment. Just concentrating on your breathe...suddenly those thoughts have gone....because you can only really pay attention to one thing at a time....your breathe. Anyway, practicing that to. The other thing I am doing is smiling....at myself....and my efforts. Just acknowledging that I am a quitter makes all the difference in the world....IT MAKES ME HAPPY....And that feels good. I am in control today!!!! Welcome to the Rookery (No Tuxedo's necessary) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 2 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 54 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $23 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 21 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57

  • Quit Meter

    $334,002.53

    Amount Saved

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    Days: 6170 Hours: 9

    Minutes: 17 Seconds: 27

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    45911

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    688,665

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penguin
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penguin
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18 years ago 0 1306 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
OK, Whoever left that %&*%#(*$#( here in the Rookery, well, they can just darn well come back and get it.!!!! That's disgusting. Who is going to clean that up? I'm not your Mother, you know! A beautiful Sunny day here again, but darn it...very, very cold. Good day to stay inside, and watch the real birds do their thing. Received a disappointing phone call. You see, I've been off work with a hand injury for the last month or so, and I've been waiting to here from Workers Compensation. Well I heard this morning....wait 2 more weeks. Ugghhh. One good thing about it though. I've stopped smoking and....will continue the journey.....money, or no money. Today, I control my life. Sweet!!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 4 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 90 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $46 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 45

  • Quit Meter

    $334,002.53

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6170 Hours: 9

    Minutes: 17 Seconds: 27

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45911

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    688,665

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penguin
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penguin
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18 years ago 0 1306 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
OOOOoooo Mother Goose is coming!!!!! Better bring some extra warm feathers with you - it's darn cold up here. Careful - don't get too close to the fire. You have you're work cut out. I've invited a few friends to fly south with me - None of them know how to fly - At least I have wings. Knowing your determination, though - I've got them best Mother & Goose in my Rookery. Thanks for joining. This is going to be fun. Anyone for flying lessons? [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 4 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 98 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $46 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 28 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17

  • Quit Meter

    $334,002.53

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6170 Hours: 9

    Minutes: 17 Seconds: 27

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45911

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    688,665

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

penguin
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penguin
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18 years ago 0 1306 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lady How can I go wrong with you by my side - and a poet at that!!!! Always fluffing my feathers - Thanks for that. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 4 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 98 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $46 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 32 [B]Seconds:[/B] 8

  • Quit Meter

    $334,002.53

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6170 Hours: 9

    Minutes: 17 Seconds: 27

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45911

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    688,665

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

penguin
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penguin
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18 years ago 0 1306 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Anyone who knows me would probably first describe me as being honest - at times obtuse. I expect if of other people in return. So I find it rather odd, (and not so funny), that for years I've listened to the lies of an addict and believed them - coveted them. Now I don't much like to be told what to do, and I certainly don't like being told that I can't do something - especially when I know I can. But every once in awhile (hubby would say daily), I will dig my heels in and get stubborn. I'M NOT MOVIN!!!! Then someone will come and give me a good swift kick in the rear (usually hubby) CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE HOLDIN UP THE LINE. Oh, Ill get mad, whip off my blinders, and........ The light of honesty is very bright and yes the truth hurts sometimes, but things must be said (I always say) Where is all this going, you ask? THANKS JOE FOR TELLING ME LIKE IT IS IT IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. Now About those dogs........... [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 5 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 108 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $57.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30

  • Quit Meter

    $334,002.53

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6170 Hours: 9

    Minutes: 17 Seconds: 27

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45911

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    688,665

    Cigarettes Not Smoked


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