I find myself in agreement with Pamela, again! Seems like I agree with you alot! I, too, thought that taking meds were a sign of weakness and that I should be able to control the symptoms by just using my mind. This may work for some people, but in my case I was wasting my life living in such fear. Over the last 3 years I've tried several different ones, some have worked great and some made it worse. But nothing is as bad as the panic was. The meds don't take all the fear and anx away, you still have to work on changing the way you think about panic. But taking the meds help me to be able to concentrate on changing my thoughts, and that's what I needed! Panic tries to control you through fear and worry, it's natural that it makes you afraid to take meds, it doesn't want you to do anything that could get rid of it. Think of panic as a real 'being', it's thinking of ways to keep you under it's control. Fear of meds, fear of going to the doctor, these are all ways for it to keep you exactly where it wants you to be, under it's control. Try some meds and go to the doctor and explain your fears and doubts. And then try the meds with the positive thought in your head that it will help you! Side effects don't last long and if you find that one doesn't work for you, try another! It can really improve your life, it did for me!