Thanks. Today was the worst, but I knew it would be. I work for the US Govmt during the week, and for the church on weekends. Saturdays are always about sermon and flowers (I do the church flowers, which I really like doing). BUT... for 20 years, I've always done them at 5 PM on Sat with a glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other. And wouldn't you just know that tomorrow (Sun) is a "special" day, honoring someone's 90th birthday; a woman who almost single-handedly rebuilt and re-opened the little church where I work. Stakes are high; sermon needs to be top-notch, and flowers need to be top-notch. Hell of a time to do both without smoking.
The fear threads helped a lot -- the craving threads helped, and I was able to do the flowers without too much trouble, but when they were done, and the sermon was done, I went nuts. Friday night without cigs is one thing, but SAT night, when all the work is done, is another story! NEVER have I faced a Sat night, especially the night before a huge service, without a cigarette (or hundreds).
But as I said in a different post, we don't "return to normal;" we create a new normal. Who KNEW what a ***** that would be!! Flowers are HOT; sermon is HOT; I deserve many cigarettes, but I deserve more to keep them away from me.
Next big test is Sunday, when everything is finally finished. Ever since I've been ordained, my biggest joy has been that post-final-service cigarette when everyone is finally gone. Been doing that for 20 years-plus. It won't happen tomorrow, and that will be okay. NOPE. Better to be an ex-smoker who occasionally wants a cigarette than a smoker who constantly wants to quit, right?
But I was born and raised a Southern California boy, riding the waves. I can ride these craves. (I sure don't like it, though!) Now I'm in Northern Virginia, and after 30 years, they still don't know what to make of me!
Thanks for listening --
peteg
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/30/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 5
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 294
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $27.5
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 47 [B]Seconds:[/B] 27