Even when the cravings aren't so bad that I'm ready to smoke the legs off a piano, they are always there. It's a low level constant pull. I'm so tired of struggling against that pull that I'm paralyzed from doing anything other than what I absolutely have to do to get through the day. I'm tired. This is when I start to think it's not worth it. Here I am, wanting to and needing to get to the gym for a good workout and steam shower. Just getting dressed seems to be beyond me. I am just always worn out! All of my energy is going towards concentrating on not smoking, all of it. There is nothing left over. My energy level is at the lowest it can be keeping my autoanatomical functions still going. Keeping busy is not an option. I sit here looking at the clock, thinking "one minute of not smoking, another minute of not smoking, another minute of not smoking" and so it goes. I drag myself to and through what absolutely has to be done not even caring how it's done. I am too tired to put dog food in the food bowl, I just threw it on the floor. I dragged myself to the grocery store, wandered around thinking about not smoking and left without getting anything.
Since all my energy is being expended on not smoking, I am physically weak. I can't move, carry or lift hardly anything anymore. Nothing I do takes my mind off smoking. Nothing. I've tried reading, walking, housework, I end up sitting there, looking at the clock thinking "one minute of not smoking, another minute of not smoking, another minute of not smoking, and so on.
This can't go on forever, can it?
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/27/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 8
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 258
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $80
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 16 [B]Seconds:[/B] 8
