Hey FreeMom,
Man, we do have a lot in common. Not only did I hide my smoking to a point but I have always been a people pleaser as well. Even to the point of obligating myself to do a favor that I KNEW I didn't want to do with every fiber of my body. Always trying to say the right things, do the right things, hide any problems I may have had, etc. It's tiring, isn't it? LOL
Another thing we have in common is, and this is confession time for me, I don't think I quit smoking when I did for me. I know I wanted to quit but I'm afraid that I quit when I did for other reasons, my husband, finances, etc. Like you, I'm glad that I quit because I do see all of the benefits and I do want to stay smoke free. But at the same time, I fear that I'll fail because I'm afraid I didn't choose my quit date for MYSELF...a date that I was ready for and a date that I had totally prepared for on my own. I'm afraid that circumstances chose it for me and took the decision to quit out of MY hands. Here I am ending my 6th day and I've been worried about circumstances choosing my quit date rather than me taking charge and choosing it for myself.
It's confusing too because that thought has been there for the last week. Confusing because I'm afraid I'll fail, afraid I wasn't ready, but all at the same time...... I'm glad I have quit and I don't want to go back to step one. Now that I know is my decision!!
I think that's what we need to focus on. It's OUR decision to stay smoke free. Whatever the reasons were that either of us quit, let's not think about that but think about how WE WANT to stay quit. No one can take that away from us. Right?
Hugs,
Tutti
PS Oh yea, the Rebel thing, that's another thing we have in common. LOL
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 7
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 385
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $19.53
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 49 [B]Seconds:[/B] 11