How can anyone live like this? Good subject line! In literal terms: because we simply have to. Humans lean towards survival, so instinctively we just keep fighting. But in a figurative sense- I have absolutely NO idea how we continue to live like this. I'm only 22 years old and have been suffering with Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia for 2 and a half YEARS now and I am baffled by it all to this very day. How much anxiety, panic, doom and sadness can one individual take? Sure, no one ever said that it was going to be easy, but for Pete's sake no one ever said it would be THIS hard. I try and keep my composure as often as possible, try to remain calm and civilized. But then there are those nights, for example, when I cannot seem to sleep (after an already panic filled day) and I just hit rock bottom. I begin to cry, kick my feet from the frustration of it all, etc. As human beings we all need down time or a restart, and it seems that with this disorder that is almost an impossibility at times. I completely understand what everyone here is trying to say, how tired and exhausted you all are. I understand how desperately you all want your old selves back, believe me, Id give up just about anything to feel wholesome, independent and happy again. But what can we do? Just keep truckin' along. Something's gotta give eventually, right? It's a fact that things are always changing, and time is always moving. Even if we are not exactly moving forward, life still sure is. No matter what, there will always be the hope of change. Just remember one thing, when you feel at your lowest and all signs are pointing to the same old panic ridden day tomorrow, just remember that nothing lasts forever and times are always changing. Therefore we are always changing with it, even if it be unintentionally. We can't see the hairs on our heads grow, but Lord knows they still do. We can't always see all the stages of a flower blooming, but the seed inevitably still becomes a rose. I feel scared and sad and hopeless just like all of you, and I am not trying to just say that it will all be okay and perfect right away. But what I can surely say with confidence is that there will always be change, even is it's barely noticeable to the naked eye, it is still change nonetheless.

Rowan, Thanks for sharing and know that you are making a difference by challenging your thoughts. This is great insight and it will also help someone get up and get our there :) Thanks, Josie _______________________________ The Panic Center Support Team.

It always amazes me when I read these post cos I feel like it's me talking! I always worry that my anxiety and panic is stealing my youth and i dont enjoy getting dressed up or wearing makeup anymore. Two years ago I loved to get dressed up and go out on the town and all my friends would have said that about me. Now i have a wardrobe full of clothes that i take no interest in and I cant be bothered to take a shower. My boyfriend told me the other day that I stank and I must have done but I just couldn't see the point in taking a shower when i was just going to be cringing in bed all day. My Mum gave me some really good advice when she said that even if i wasn't going to do anything that day but go to the supermarket I should still get up early, brush my teeth, shower, choose a decent outfit and put a bit of makeup on. Taking pride in the way i looked used to be normal for me and if i want to get back to normal i have to start acting like i used to. I think it helps your positivity if you make the effort, even if you feel like theres no point, a few compliments might help you to start feeling good about yourself. Taking pride in your appearance is one of the first things that goes away for me when i start feeling anxious. Today I was terrified to go for a coffee with my friend but I made myself change out of my horrible tracksuit and into some reasonably smart clothes and I combed my hair. That just made me feel that tiny bit more normal and able to face the world. Just because we suffer from panic or anxiety or depression doesn't mean we're not women! We have every right to care about our looks and get dressed up once in a while. This kind of illness takes so much from you and you feel like its stolen your identity until you are just a shell dealing with the anxiety. If you can take even the smallest bit of yourself back then surely it's a victory?

Angel, We are always here to listen. You can take the program at your own space and time , but leaving it to long would entail starting over. The program is here to assist you in your journey. Filling out the report is important. Many people that have done the program advised that it accessed their situations better. You should have a diary or report to look back on. This will not come overnight and you need to do this step by step. Push forward and know there is hope. Post often with and share you success' with us. Take your time and dive in there! Josie ______________________________ The Panic Center Support Team.

Hi Josie. Yes i'm currently doing the program. I am not doing it every single week because i believe i am in week 6 now and its exposure work that must be done. So I don't want to rush through the program just for the sake of doing it. I am taking my time. But i feel that when i take too long to do the next week of the program, i forget all the positive things that i should get out of this. Im trying to do the exposure work....but sometimes i get tired of it cause its so much paper work to do. So i'm trying it without filling out the exposure report thing....is that ok? I just hate when i'm getting better, and then all of a sudden i get so bad. How motivating is that? I keep trying and trying....and i dont' feel encouraged when i go back 5 steps. U know what i mean? I am finding it so hard to control the anxious thoughts. I was so good at it at one point........but then i just lose that power. Its hard. sorry for complaining...but just feel depressed about it. thanks for listening.

Angel, What measures are you taking? Have you taken the test and given it to your doctor? Have you tried the program? Many members have had progress through these avenues. It is ok to feel this way, but you need to combat it and try to move forward. Try some relaxation techniques and tomorrow start the Panic diary. This will help better assess the situation. Hope this helps, Josie ______________________________ The Panic Center Support Team.

I definately cant live like this anymore. I was thinking to myself the other day, what did i do to deserve such a thing? I keep thinking that i want to be the person that i WAS...happy and easy going. I mean, i still was a fearful person, but not about going out. I used to love going out. What is going on here? I hate this so much. I'm sorry for being so negative but i feel like I HAVE HAD IT with this stupid anxiety. I cant live like this. I feel like i cant breath allll the time (even though i had tests done on my lungs and everything is normal)....my heart beats fast allllllll the time even if i'm just 'relaxing.' I am afraid of everything. If i had a wish, i would wish to feel normal just for a second.....i miss that feeling. The feeling of going out feeling HAPPY and excited....the feeling of thinking about 'normal things' rather tahn my health. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh God help me. I just want to feel pretty again. Everyone tells me i'm so beautiful. But i dont' feel it anymore. I dont' feel pretty.......i dont' believe in myself. I wish to God that i will get back to normal.

Thank you everyone whose replied. I am still very depressed over this. I am usually a very active mom with my three kids. I just can't believe this came out of nowhere and has lasted this long. UGH!! Keep the encouragement and tips coming.

complete loss of apetite. No choking....very nauseas all the time even when on the anti nausea drugs Thank you for the advice about getting around asking for the iv. I see my primary dr tomorrow. So hopefully something will come of it. =0)

Shedav, I have been to the ER a ton of times (all ending up being because of anxiety) and it has been my experience they just want to get you in and out. There was one time I was having thoughts of killing myself and they sent me home! :8o: Please try to see your doctor as soon as possible. You will find more help there. You will be in my prayers. Michele