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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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Overwhelmed and Scared


21 years ago 0 1 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Matt, Congratulations on finding a great partner in life. Finding a partner is one of the obsessions that I have that creates anxiety and phobias about being alonge and single and unworthy. I am working on this, however, I hope that you can look at the good things that you do have in life as well. You have had a great education, you have family that supports you and you are an ethical, responsible, contributing member of society. I am curious to know whether you communicate these fears openly with your wife? Does she know the extent to which your anxiety is related to your shared experiences? Being able to reveal your fears and anxiety to those you trust that will not judge you is one of the best means for me to release my negative energy. Continued success, Matt!
21 years ago 0 1062 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Matt. Congratulations on your wedding! Congratulations on your academic development too. That's awesome. Marriage is a major life change, and even with your best friend, it demands a period of adjustment. Your expressed worry about credit card debt for instance, is part of that adjustment when we realize that the debt of one becomes the debt of both. This can be dealt with, in a reasoned and budgeted plan. I have to tell you though Matt, when I read your message, I wanted to say, "Whoa, Matt. You're getting way ahead of yourself." It's ok to 'what if' in order to plan. However, if the worry is unrealistic and out of perspective, a treatment plan such as our Panic Program can help. Universities sometimes offer free help to students. The clinic might offer psychological therapy to help align that perpective. Have you investigated this possibility? If you take the Anxiety Test at the left of the page and print out the results, it might help you to present your situation to a psychologist. I do know a couple who graduated seven years ago with over $65 thousand to repay. They were careful about their spending, and only used debit cards rather than credit cards to help them live within their means. One of them was unable to find work for 2 years, but when found, that job has turned out to be the most secure I've heard of in a long while. They been sharing one car. Sometimes one of them walks a mile to work or takes a bus. They've lived within their means and planned their life somewhat, but had a lot of fun and romance too. (e.g., their Valentine story won a local first prize worth five thousand dollars) After seven years, they tell me their debt has been reduced to under $12 thousand. They also put away a sum every month and now have put that sum toward a down payment on a house. According to their devleopment plan, they are now going to focus on having a family. Since the student loan interest is low, they will stretch that out while maximizing their house payments. I think they felt somewhat overwhelmed in the beginning too, but they carefully planned and worked it out. Murphy's Law sometimes played a role, but they managed and seem quite happy now. A life together can be a happy adventure. May yours be too. The
21 years ago 0 29 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Matt, I know exactly how you feel! Everything you talked about in your post was like what I was obessing about before I experience panic attacks. Just before my last year from college before graduation, I started freakin' about what I was going to do with my life or what was going to happen with my life. I would constantly think about what I was going to do about finding work and also how I was going to be able to pay all my student loans back. I would worry because I was not going to have my part-time job at school anymore and was not going to have money. About 4 months after graduation I started having panic attacks. I had not been ill of nothing. I just one day snapped from all the stress and worrying. I was unable to find employment with my degree. I felt like a failure and hopeless. Ever since I snapped that day I have been at home with panic attacks and some agoraphobia. Just recently I have been able to get out a litte out of the house. All that pressure that we put on ourself finally gets to the point where your body just can't handle all the stress and worries and that's when one starts getting panic attacks. I know that is the reason I got them. I still worry about what's going to happen with my life such as if I will ever be able to work and get out there but for now I am living day by day. Trying my best not to worry too much. My advice to you is to not worry too much because if your let the panic get to you it will. So just try to relax and not think too much about that "what if". We can't control everything!
21 years ago 0 1 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi everyone. I wanted to see if any of you have any advice for how to look at life in a more positive way. I am constantly having panic attacks because I am so overwhelmed by life. I am a bright and relatively young person with a lot of things to look forward to in my life. I married the greatest friend I have ever known just this past August. We are both pursuing our masters degrees and are both in good health. I begin to panic when I start thinking about all of the things that we still have not worked out. She has student loans and credit card debt and does not have an income with which to pay either of these. I worry so much about finance charges and wonder if/when we will ever pay all of this off. We have one car between us. It has worked for us thus far because work and school are extremely close and convenient. I have no idea how we will get by if/when she finds work (she will be done with her masters in December). I am terrified of going to work every day for fear of losing my job. We are going through enormous changes at my office and I am scared out of my mind about what I would do if they let us go. Life is hard enough on one income right now...I dont know what I would do if we have no income... I worry about saving money, when I will be able to buy a home, when I might have children, how I will be able to afford things like college for my children, will I ever find a good job, will I be able to save for retirement.....I am so upset about all of this that I get hit with giant waves of panic. I often find myself comparing my life to other people, asking myself "How do they do it?" I am tired of feeling helpless and hopeless all the time but I feel like I have so many things weighing me down. My doctor has given me paxil and xanax to help me out. Although this helps a bit here and there, it does not answer the questions and fears that I constantly relive in my mind. Do any of you know what I mean or have any suggestions for how to combat this awful feeling? Matt

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