Hi Ex
I've just been reading down your post and wanted to add a little something of my own.
This might sound really really dumb however I'll risk it. You seem to be fixated on cigarettes and what you have lost. I believe that what we focus on grows so the more we think about a thing the more significant it becomes.
So what if we tried to focus on something else - maybe something we love and that might be a positive distraction. It could be something like sewing, baking, reading, pampering ourselves, walking, reading magazines, looking at art, making art, making love? I'm willing to bet that there is something other than cigarettes that we could focus on. What would happen if we got our minds off cigarettes and on to something positive and we focused on that. Remember - what we focus on, grows.
Please don't think that I am flippant about your feelings - depression can be a huge immobiliser and it can be really hard to create a shift. I really do understand this from my own personal experiences. But perhaps we could all try one small thing that brings a positive change and act on it.
You have a 139 day quit and that is superb - be proud of yourself and big it up. You're pretty special for that alone and I bet in 100's of other ways too.
All the best
Sharon
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/14/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 119
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,198
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �320.11
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 10 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 54 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57
