Hi, Lady.
Remember my "Better late than never" thread where I realized how badly this addiction had influenced my relationship with my wife? That was the beginning of what she has called "an awakening" that I've been going through.
I recently read a theory an addiction researcher has about the addict's emotional development. The theory is that when a person becomes addicted, emotional development as an unaddicted person is halted. From that time on, emotional development occurs under the direction of the addiction. When the addiction is broken and the person returns to their non-addicted state, they also regress in their emotional development to the pre-addicted level. This means if you started smoking at 15, when you quit you will return, emotionally, to 15.
Now, I don't know that I buy into this 100%, but from what I've seen here and personal experience, I do believe there is some validity to the theory. I started smoking at 15 and I don't think I turned back into a teenager emotionally, but I am painfully aware that the addiction did have serious negative impacts on my emotional development. There have be considerable changes over the last 6 months, or so, and I can tell more is needed. Patience, it will come.
I applaud your honesty and openness with this post. I think it is good for newbies and those still planning to know this isn't a piece of cake. I believe many begin their quits ill informed, thinking they are stopping a bad habit like biting their nails instead of conquering the strongest drug addiction known. A few will slide through with no problem, but for most this will be a long and painful journey; physically, mentally, and emotionally.
You've been such a blessing to this site it really saddens me to see you still struggling so. It's been said you can't write a good love song until your heart's been broken. Perhaps it is this struggle that is the source of your compassion and understanding.
Last I heard from N2k, last Wednesday, he had started occupational and physical therapy. He is closer to them, but it is still something like an hour and a half drive, so that plus working is keeping her quite busy.
Shevie
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/23/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 322
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoke
