Lashes, You are so going through withdrawl. I have a little advice for you: 1) Men are from mars, woman are from venus. He can't understand a 13 year old teenage girl....because he has never been one (LOL). They ALL cry, sometimes for no reason at all. He may never understand her completely. 2) Any stressor's that bothered you before you quit is going to be 10 fold now that your quitting. You need to relax, count to 10 before saying anything, and if you feel the blood pressure rising, you need to give yourself a timeout. This will pass, I promise, but don't try and work out all the stressor's in your life while your in withdrawl. 3) Focus on getting through Hell week first and foremost. Your quit is very very important and requires 100% of your attention. Next week, the teenager and husband will still be there, and you may be a little calmer to deal with them in a way that doesn't make you look like you have lost your mind (been there, done that myself). When you get upset and start ranting at them....they are only responding to your tone and not what your saying. Next week, your tone will be better, and you can deal with the issues in a calmer manner and get better results. Hang in there sweety!!! It get's better. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 34 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 755 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $187 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 47

Lashes, Breathe in......breathe out........breathe in.......breathe out..... Now that you've done that. Focus on your quit and not the hubby right now. For someone who has never quit smoking, it is hard for them to understand what you are going through, no matter how many different ways you try and explain it to him. But we understand. Hang in there, the first week, your emotions are extremely crazy. Yes, all the stuff still needs to be done, the daughter, the bills, the housework...these are great distractions to keep you from smoking also. It's all in how you look at things. Once you have a handle on the daily activities...then take time out and take a bath or sit in a quiet place and read a book or magazine. Keep us posted as to how your quit is going. We understand what your going through. Kaiti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 34 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 757 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $187 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 52 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35

He only makes your life as hard as you allow him. He only not supports you as much as you depend upon him. Have you ever tried journaling? It can put things in perspective, show patterns and you would not be so limited in your ability to vent as you are on this site. Wishing you strength today in your quit. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/19/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 23 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 233 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $115 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 47 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59

Hey, Lashes - One thing at a time babe. It's the same as when you are on an airplane listening to the emergency instructions. You are told to put the oxygen mask on yourself, then on the child. Otherwise you may pass out as you are putting it on the child and you have a child fending for herself. Your marriage situation didn't happen in a day. I can believe that every day there is a sore spot and that creates the the feeling of crisis. Running for a cig. in those situations is only taking you out of the picture for your daughter both in the short run (like when your daughter wanted to go with you to the store after the incident, if you had been smoking you might not have taken her - I could be wrong) and definately (sp) in the long run be increasing your chances of premature death. I admire your decision to quit smoking. It is easy for some people to say they will quit when it is a good time. Adding this quiting smoking element to your situation may feel at times like taking two steps back, but in the end it will allow you to pass forward. My input here would be to focus on the quit. I realize that everything else continues as it was, but now is not the time to make any major decisions. The important thing is to get through the quit so that you will be stronger later. Life goes on in the mean time. I can't comment on your life outside of cig.s, but I think the computer threat is a good idea. I work full-time and when I have to I take the TV game stuff away, I take the cables to work with me. It's common for people to smoke when they believe that other people haven't behaved in a certain way that they believe they should have or the other hasn't felt emotionally the way one believes they should have, or said something they should have. Or conversly (sp) they have behaved, felt or said something that we believe they should not have. It is amazing the extent to which we will kill ourselves (with smoking) to feel control over another person. And it is amazing that we give people the power to kill us. There is nothing passive about it. By stopping the cig.s you are taking control. You are taking ownership rather than just doing all the work. If your husband doesn't step up to the plate to call the shots, you call them. It

Hi lashes :) Good for you, you have two days of not smoking behind you. You are a strong woman who is doing a good thing for herself with no help from her partner. Just keep up the good work. If this Christmas isn't perfect, your daughter will understand, I'm sure. Kids these days understand how bad smoking is for your health. The important thing right now is taking care of yourself and not letting the cigarettes win. Later, when you are confident that you will never need another cigarette, you can always consider whether or not you want to keep a thoughtless man like him around........... :quest: [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/16/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 26 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 783 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $130 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 14

lashes, sorry to hear you have so much on your plate right now i do know that the more you nag someone, the less likely theyt are to do what you want having said that, however, you and hubby need to put up a united front when it comes to daughter issues it sounds to me like you really need some time for you reward yourself with a new book, a movie or some bath stuff, something just for you it does get better i was a positive witch at first lynnexx [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/24/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 48 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 720 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �192 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19

Kinda reminds me of my Dad, coming home on Christmas Eve after spending the afternoon and early evening at the Sargeant's Mess. His mission (should heagree to take it) was to buy a christmas tree and deliver it home. Anyone care to guess what the trees left on the lot looked like at 7:30 pm Christmas Eve?? Any guesses what his supper looked like after sitting on the stove top for 2 hours? Any guesses about the tears and strife of tryng to get a tree up and decorated, with a crooked trunk, and a drunken Dad? Pffft! Christmas..seems like we spend most of our adult lives making sure our kids don't have to endure the same crap we put up with! We're doing charity this year..pick a cause..give your money. We all have too much stuff..too much food..too much drink. This is my rant too, I guess, Lashes..get mad, you deserve it..hold on to your quit..you can do it, and rant away here (we all do) LOL. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/3/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 68 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,068 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $561 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 32 [B]Seconds:[/B] 9

Lashes Just wanted to say I am sorry that things are so rough. I agree with I'm...one thing at a time - Focus on your quit now. (It sounds like the relationship issues won't change much if you put them on hold for awhile) You have so much on your plate - please find some way to take care of you! This is so important (whether it is time 1/2 hour to read a book or watch a t.v. show, a bubble bath, a short walk, visit with a friend - anything that makes you feel better) We can't put everything on hold - You still have to work, the bills have to be paid and you are still a Mom but other things (i.e. the housework and other jobs) may need to be put on hold if there is no time left for you. Life sucks right now.....on the other hand you are doing amazing despite it. Congrats on another day smoke free! Windy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 91 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,838 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $455 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 21 [B]Seconds:[/B] 27

Well Lashes - I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one that rants. You have 3 big issues on the table so here goes: 1) You are quitting smoking and are going through major withdrawal right now. You are supposed to hate everyone and everything right now. Do not expect that you are going to be able to resolve issues in a rational manner the first week. We reserve the right to hate our husbands during the first week....we will grow to love them again later. Congrats on day 1 - Please take care of yourself and try not to take on too much right now. 2) You and your daughter love Christmas and your husband hates it. Don't give it up. This is something special that you and your daughter share. 3) You daughter needs to change her study habits and your husband needs to help with the parenting. Unfortunately, we can't change people if they don't want to change but maybe we can help them "want" to change. I'm not a parent so I'm not going to try to pretend that I know how to motivate teenagers and although I have a hubby I have absolutely NO idea how to train them! I hope that you get some helpful advice from some people who are smarter than me. In the mean time....rant away....Life will get better...you are doing well...this too shall pass........etc etc. Take care of yourself! Windy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 90 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,815 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $450 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 26

It's okay, Lashes! :) This too shall pass. One day at a time! :) Cheers, nmc [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 107 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,078 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $535 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 20 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 58