Hi,
My husband and I are planning a weekend trip to visit my family. I only get to see them 3-4 times a year and it's always good to see them, however, this trip will be different and I have some concerns. Both my sisters smoke and we were always used to going outside my Mom's house(no smoking allowed inside) for "smoke breaks" together whenever I visited, and to catch up on each others lives. I guess you could say that was our "sister time". Since my quit, I have pretty much stayed home and haven't been exposed to smokers, except for occasionally walking past someone standing outside a public place getting their "fix". Back home is like "land of the smokers", so I feel somewhat weary, instead of the usual excitedness, as I still feel so vulnerable with my quit at this point. It's been tough for me to maintain my quit, and it's even been a bit shaky at times recently, so this has me worried. Also, normally during our drive, we would stop at certain places for a "break" and I always looked forward to them. Now, it's going to feel different, not the normal routine that I got accustomed to and anticipated. Now THERE is going to be some empty feelings. I just can't get into this trip and feel the excitement as I normally do. I guess my concerns outweigh my excitement this time. I actually dread it. My husband says I will be the shining example to my family, but I feel more like I'm trying to be someone I'm not, someone who is just putting up a "front". Does that make sense? I have been doing what I can to avoid any additional anxieties. The doctor says I have GAD and I don't handle medications to treat it very well, so I basically just cope as best I can. I'm not making excuses, but at this point, I REALLY don't need any additional anxieties at this time, as I feel like I am barely hanging on to my quit. I know it's been 8 weeks now, but it isn't necessarily easier for me just yet. I guess everybody handles their own quit in their own way and time frame varies in the amount it can take to get over it. I guess it really is all about attitude, but at this point, my attitude isn't rising forth in a positive way, it's more like cowering in the corner, requesting not to be seen or heard. It's kind of like keeping an old wound covered with a bandage for fear of exposi