I'm now ready to formally introduce myself. I was born July 14, 1961. I quit smoking partly for my 45th birthday. I was a smoker for 29 years. I quit smoking for two years back in the late 1980's. I achieved that quit through using the gum and going through 12 Step program. Strange, I think there were more 12 Step meetings back in the 1980's. It's difficult for me to tell what got me smoking. I grew up a ward of the state of Illinois and it seems that all the foster care youth at the time smoked. Not only did foster children smoke a lot but it was generally allowed in the house, usually in a designated room. The reasoning was that if a spot was not set aside, the children would just smoke in the closets and burn the house down. So I remember my first smoke, or should I say puff, when I was 14. I got so sick--dizzy and nauseous--that I am surprised that I tried it again within days and got hooked. I remember trying within the first month after I started to quit and couldn't. So I smoked for the next 13 years, until I entered 12 Step program for codependency and started just feeling better about everything. I decided that I picked the habit up from my mother and since I really didn't want much to do with her, wanted to exercise her demon as thoroughky as possible. I struggled, but with the gum it somehow seemed easier then I had imagined it would be. I don't think I ever really developed a sense of having struggled for that sobriety.I gave up the gum when I recognized that I had joined a group that emphasized being nicotine-free over being smoke-free. I think I was ready to anyhow. I did not gain weight immediately. The weight gain came after I went back to work and started getting stressed. I gained about 30-40 pounds, but within a year I was successful at losing it. However, I again got really stressed, and I can remember making the decision to smoke rather than gain weight again. I'm a 12 Stepper. The truth is that I did not have a close enough relationship with higher power to let higher power feel the gaps I had. I hadn't yet learned to turn my stress over to HP. One of the things I know is that I will not make that choice again. Now I've been a 12 Stepper for nearly 20 years, and I am extremely close to HP. Plus, I realize that when I needed to lose weight