MMMMMM
I am on a break, the middle of the day and I get to go back to work and then I am doing a volunteer stint from 4:30 until 11:00 tonight and then I am getting the new office preped for paint and actually starting the painting tomorrow.
I am stressed. I feel crudy about coming here and not feeling lively enough to join in the festivities. I imagine that this will come back and it is all really a part of the stress that I am in over work and the move. Oh well, I know I am not going to smoke so that makes the world better for me.
I know that looking at my commitmnet and looking at what I have accomplished will help me move forward. Sorry I don't feel very humourous or very inspired or inspirational, it all just seems down. I know that that is out of balance and I am struggling to rebalance, get back to the surface where it really is all okay.
I really get that there ways and means of doing this: (using the stop smoking centre and being a supportive quitter and being a successful member of this site) that I can't be in and I will not do, the personal contact stuff is beyond me, that I won't spend the time to put in a lot of pretty pictures, beyond me, that I don't want to IM, beyond me, getting the sideways snipes, beyond me. Oh well I can only know what works for me and work exactly what works and be done with it. I will say it like it is and that is about as much as I can do. Perhaps the best thing for me to do is stay completely away from any knid of discussion, cause 99 percent of the time I just fell put down, totally misunderstood and just plain bad so why bother.
I really sorly wish I could just hide out, sleep for a week and it would all be done ..... I know I would like to believe in fairy tales and it just ain't going to happen that way. For the past several weeks I have felt this and I don't know if it is me, what I post, what I read here, the negativity that I feel, how I really feel or what I really do think, what I am willing to trust is that I am not up to this ... right now. What works is to take a break and be done with it.
Why that scares me I don't know because I know that I can find new and other support outside.
BLAGH
Phillip :(
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 127
[B]Cig