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Talking it out to try to make sense of it all...


ladybugg
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ladybugg
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20 years ago 0 1073 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
dear butterflyS, smoking will not make you friends (smoking buddies maybe, but not friends) I think what you're doing here is letting the junkie in you have a bit too much to say. you don't have many friends because you made the CHOICE to go back to school, you've made the CHOICE to spend time on your studies and you made the CHOICE to be active in this support group. girl, you are tired from the stress of studying for finals and tired from the stress of quitting smoking. Do me a favor, okay? Don't change any of your choices right now, oky? I do believe spring break is coming up? Take some time for you, to reward yourself for making it so far in your quit....to reward yourself for getting back to school. friends happen when we're ready to accept them into our lives. stay strong, my friend, and be patient. [color=Purple]~bugg huggs~[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/17/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 345 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 18,287 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2277 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 33 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 37 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1

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ladybugg
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ladybugg
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20 years ago 0 1073 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm on yahoo pam if you're still here [color=Purple]~lbugg~[/color]

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Rusty
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Rusty
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20 years ago 0 2462 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Pam, I hope you can see from the responses that you have a lot of respect here. And even though this is cyber space and we are cyber people (hehe), that counts for a lot when it comes to good solid advice. Ladybugg was so right when she said smoking won't bring you friends, it will only bring you smoking buddies. You could pick heroin instead, and then you'd have smack buddies. How did you make friends before you smoked? How do never-smokers make friends? Surely it can't be true that you can't have friends if you don't smoke. I've discovered that smoking allowed me to isolate myself from other people, people who don't smoke. The smokers all stuck together, bound by the drug. We never ventured out to meet others, we always sought out other smokers wherever we were. The answer is inside you somewhere. We can only give our thoughts and suggestions, but you have to find the happiness that you want so badly. I just hope you place a huge value on how much work you have done in the past year and don't throw that away. Rusty [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/13/2004 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 439 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 12,304 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1536.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 60 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 46 [B]Seconds:[/B] 49

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Katy
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Katy
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20 years ago 0 763 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Pam....you're lonely, and your depressed. You have made a huge change in your life and you are having trouble adjusting. and girl, the junky is taking FULL advantage of your perdicament. There is NO way smoking is going to change ANY of what you mention.....and this "camaraderie" of smoking that you speak of isn't "friendship"....it's a natural way of hooking up and giving yourself a fix with other addicts. Somehow the 'company' of another smoker lessens your addictive guilt. so you bum a cig or a light.....now truthfully, how many of those people stay in your life becoming friends??? This junky reasoning is your addiction at work!! and it has entered in through your loneliness and depression. I figure you are letting your feelings of "aloneness" call the shots when you are around people. You are withdrawing instead of projecting. This also involves a certain amount of negative thinking (and boy does the junky LOVE it when that happens!) He is in there really working at agreeing that quitting smoking is the cause of ALL that ails you. Just light one up and things will look better.... and Pam, if you do that??? I promise you, you are only going to feel MORE depressed and lonely. The facts of what are happening will hit home hard when you light up. Don't let the junky win. Yes, the advice is just as you said.....hang on... You need to join some groups/orginazations and then force yourself to confide in a couple of people that you are far from life as you knew it and in need of friends. Go to church and reach out....really reach out....talk to the minister? If church isn't your thing then join an exercise group....arobics, etc? Sign up for some sort of lessons at a ymca or gym? Go to library or book store and inquire about a book club??? do you know your neighbor?? Are there study groups where you are going to school.....join one even if you don't NEED it? [i]breaking down and smoking doesn't work as comfort for a quitter. You broke that mold when you stopped smoking. Guilt will replace the comfort if you smoke now.[/i] Find a professional (doctor/pastor/councilor) to confide in. and tell yourself that smoking is not one of your options for this problem. ((((hugs))

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Katy
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Katy
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20 years ago 0 763 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
If you are involved in all these things, then ask someone to coffee, to lunch, to dinner??? ask a church member to go with you to exercise? ask an exercise person to church? Surely with exposure to all these people you can strike up a conversation and get someone involved in some activity with you? Ask people about movies....try to find one that you AND someone else wants to see....then meet and go together? or are you interacting with a lot of people but feel like no one is a 'close' friend?? We all know that rarely happens in a short time. Perhaps you are being impatient or trying too hard?? keep shuffling it up and dealing it out.....things are bound to get better....probably when you least expect it! :) Where the heck to you live.....are you close to any of US? ;) katy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/4/2002 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1514 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 60,583 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $8327 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 197 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34

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