Hi Pitstop,
I understand exactly. Re-defining myself without a cancer stick in my hand was, and still is, a challenge.
Each and every day, I accomplish an old task without one of those in my hand! I still take it one at a time though. Its frightening when I know I am about to do something that I usually did with a smoke. But I know it is all in my head. Take walking for instance- I used to smoke while I walked. So now when I get ready for my walk, it still frightens me. A swoop of paranoria goes through my body, much like an adreniline rush. But I now know what to do. I know I will not smoke. So I take a deep breath, several times, grab my water and down some, then grab another one and a handful of my hard candies. Now I am set.
I now control my cravings. They no longer control me. Each time I do the task without a smoke, makes that task a little easier to do the next time. So now, I am doing things non-smoking. This is who I am becomming. This is the new me. I spent 1/2 my life smoking. My childhood is the only time without smoking. It's not like I can refer to life since I was only a child. But I can refer to yesterday, because yesterday I did not smoke.
I hope this helps. But really, I meant to say that I understand. You will re-define yourself, one day at a time. Tomorrow you will be a little different than you are today. Enjoy the ride. This is you now.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 53
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,604
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $173.31
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
