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oh no... i am worried now.

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oh no... i am worried now.

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 81

Shevie and Sunshine, thank you. yes, i will probably stick around to read while strengthening myself. Quote: I don't think you're being honest with yourself. I don't think you are ready to quit yet. You are too quick to use your self-described qualities of "stubborn" and "individualist" as excuses to smoke. If you really wanted to quit you would be using your "stubborn individualist" qualities in a proactive, pro-quit way. You are an addict and are still too willing to allow the addiction to control your life. Yes, Shevie... that's something i need to figure out too. thank you for the words. na

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 81

Hi Everybody, Last night at 11.15pm, i became a smoker again. Hence, no quit meter today. :) I will take some time off from here before i come back again, so i thought i should leave a note to let you know what had happened to this enthusiatic quitter, one who is lucky to have minimal withdrawal, yet decided to quit on my quit. You have definitely helped me alot and touched my heart in the short span of 5 smoke-free days, plus the 3 weeks while i was bumping in during my preparation. What i realised is that there is no slip. It is a decision. From the point of deciding to smoke, driving out to get it, able to open it and light it up again??? That is definitely not a slip. I can remember clearly last night, i have chose not to use any tools to defend it from happening. How i feel now? The only thing i feel is i miss the 5 beautiful days. I am not mad with myself, either. or disappointed with myself, or seeing myself as defeated loser. i knew if i start to blame myself, it will becomes a bigger fear and obstacle for my next quit. I will be back. That is for sure. And it wouldnt be like the past, to wait another year or 2. I might miss the May Quitter group though. In the meantime, i will have to go deal with myself. I will take care and slowly gear my life into the right path. Cos at the end of the day, quitting smoking (for me personally) is not about the nicotine, not about the cigarettes. It is about myself, who am i and what choices in life i make. thank you all for standing by me in the last month. I will see you again. Na more beautiful days ahead.

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 81

hi bingo, I do have those you mentioned too. But this one, it feels like it is constantly processing itself, it feels almost a negotiation is going behind me, and with very careful planning of getting back into it, and getting out of it later. :) sounds really crazy.... It almost makes me believe now that this will happen. i am sitting here and wondering when, cos i dont really have any strong crave...how would i then go and pick up one. But then again........ Ya, i supposed it is another form of temptation. those that teases you rather than those which 'grab you by the neck' kind. thanks. and 25 days is great. NA [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/14/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 4 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 140 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $24 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 39 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 81

Good day, I am logging in to let everyone know that i am good today too. however, i am going through a very strange trip right now. Someone give me a smack please. Here i go: As some of u might know, this quit has really taken off on a very good note. I felt really good about it, I have no major withdrawal, i noticed all the good things happening like my breath, the air quality. In the last 2 days, I find my mind making small plans or thoughts. Hmmmm.. my husband will be back in another month time (July) ... so i thought i could consider postponing my quit till then. Yes, though the quit is for myself, but in a way, my husband became the catalyst to call the quit, cos now, i am sharing my space with a non-smoker. OK.... here is the thing i am confused, when these thoughts come, it is usually not at the moment when i am craving very badly. In fact, these thoughts dont attack me suddenly, and they dont go away like a craving. And because these thoughts dont have the symptoms of a crave, i really dun know how to deal with it. They dun ruin my day, or send me into cold turkey shiver.... They are just there floating right around my head.... And i am also in no hurry to go buy a pack, and light up. ( you know, very chill out, like having a talk over coffee kind of feeling) Oh, what is happening. A negotiation is happening??? anyway, while typing through each and every words, i think i am aware of all the tools, theory, etc... and even the perfect answer to fight away this thoughts... Very simple answer, its a temptation, it is a easy way of, just treat it like one of those moments. But my mind doesnt seem to buy it, it reminds me of how as a teenager, i would go against parental or pastor advice. Ha Ha, my theme song then was Lou Reed's, "take a walk on the wild side". oh God.... it is not killing me at any point now. Like a say, it is a peaceful thing. So i really dont know how to end this letter. i should be worried to death and screaming for help to sign off. But yet, i dont really feel so desperate. Just thought i do my part, post it, check it out, see if anyone find my situation familiar... and advice. I am not sure if i will take any advice , cos I sense that my "Stubborn" and "individualist" mode are on. Na [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Q

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 81

hi x-smoker, thanks for the encouragement. I WILL HOP BACK IN. Firstly, i have to go settle and fix my 'junkie' outlook in life. I came into the last quit very confident and wanted very much to get my life fixed right on path. :) that was my downfall, i figure for the moment. I love all of you, and will definitely grab on to the wagon as soon as i can. Meanwhile, you hang on and head towards a smoke free forever journey. k? I will come find you soon. :) lookout for me ;) i am just all over the place now... whaaaa!!!!! na

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 207

STick with it, YOU CAN DO THIS, Deep breaths, Fresh air. Every day, hour, min. with out smoking is a victory for me. It will get easier, just relax, and breath. I now have to wonder if I will have a new addiction...gum and suckers, LOL, Keep up the great work. Check back often, write and ramble. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/2/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 44 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,798 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $264 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2436

Hi Na - You just hang on tight... get comfortable and dig those heels in, Na, and you just stay focused... We are here and we will be here - vent and process and just ramble when you need to:) Do anything and everything you need to do just DON'T SMOKE!! Blessings- Healer [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 73 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,561 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $339.45 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 8

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 962

Hi NA - Just jumping in to tell you that it does get better, and it does get easier - you just always have to be on the lookout for that Mouse! Keep your bat handy - I love that analogy! Just keep on doing what you're doing...breathe, excercise and know that you are a strong woman who can take control of this addiction and kick it to the curb!! Make Your Mark, Join the Circle Island Girl [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/21/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 85 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 858 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $170 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 10 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 53

Quit Meter

$1,704,862.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 5866 Hours: 7

Minutes: 31 Seconds: 7

Life Gained
Quit Meter

45463

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

1,363,890

Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1687

Na, Sorry that you lost your quit, when you are ready come on back. We will look forward to your return. Be blessed, SUNSHINE [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 132 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,255 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $462 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 19 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 59 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30

Quit Meter

$230,156.44

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 6403 Hours: 2

Minutes: 18 Seconds: 15

Life Gained
Quit Meter

45463

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

681,945

Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1687

Good-morning Na, Good to hear from you this morning, and that you survived last night. Hope you had a good workout, so if you feel tired just get cosy and take you a nap. Sleep is a wonderful healer. Stay strong and keep on posting and reading, and don't forget the breathing... Be blessed, SUNSHINE [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 130 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,218 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $455 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 27 [B]Seconds:[/B] 55

Quit Meter

$230,156.44

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 6403 Hours: 2

Minutes: 18 Seconds: 15

Life Gained
Quit Meter

45463

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

681,945

Cigarettes Not Smoked

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oh no... i am worried now.