Doin it really tough. Knew this was going to be hard so dont know why so supprised. What a bloody day!!! Started off pretty great and confident. To be honest it felt good to be the one in control for a change and not having my life dictated to me by a cardboard box containing cigarettes. So plodded along quite nicely untill this arvo. My 6 yr old used his superior radar skills and detected imediately that I was feeling a little tense and vulnerable and quite effortlessly picked away at my central nervous system, stripping me of all my strength and energy that I was trying to put into fighting my cravings. After fighting with him over doing his homework, how many after school snacks he was going to eat, what we were going to have for dinner, when we were going to have dinner, how we were going to have dinner, getting into the bath, getting out of the bath, putting pjs on.....oh and the list goes on, I have been left in quite a weak frazzled state. During this whole sagga I have had the 4 month old baby being very unsettled and have been back and forth into her to try to re-settle her (that radar thing must be in the genes).
I am not very happy. Thing is, is that this is usually a daily struggle in my house and unfortunately DH is not always here to help, like tonight. So when all goes quiet it is finally my time to relax and de-stress for the night. This is usually done in the form of a ciggie and a lovely hot cup of tea out on my front veranda where all you can hear is the crickets singing and the dogs barking. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! [b]BUT[/b]I am a non smoker now. Just excuse me while I pull my hair out. I need to find another way to relax and get that very much needed wind down, me time.
I can say that although I only joined this forum yesterday I had a huge sense of relief as I logged on and made my way to the discussion board. Already I have been passed on so many well wishes and encouragement. KEEP IT COMING. I NEED IT.
Anyway another day. Another hour and another minute I didnt have a smoke and I AM proud of myself. I am eating everything in sight and I am doing everything I can to try to stay calm.
[b]I CAN DO THIS. [/b]
Thanks for listening. I feel much better now thank you very much!! ;)
Jo xx
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [