Well it,s been a few days since comming online,with my story. Still Smoking?
God I hate this addiction. Thank you to everyone who has offered thair advice,I am reading them, and they do keep me on track to want to stop.
The other day,I walked with my daughter hand in hand to get a slurpee, and made the mistake of telling her that I was going to finish the cigs that I have and not have anymore, and you could see that she was excited. An hour went by,had that last cig,and soon after,was asking my daughter to come to the store with me. The whole trip took 10 minitues, and I knew that I was about to break my 5 year olds heart. I asked the casher for a pack of demuera and heard my baby say dad you said that you wern,t going to have any more ciggeretts?
I waited untill we got out of the store, and I could feel the tear,s well up inside myself,as I looked at her and tried to justify why I didn,t keep my word. God I hate this addiction. My baby is only 5 so she really doesn,t understand,Yet I know that she feels disapointed in her dad, and probly thinks everytime she see,s me light up another cig that I didn.t keep my promise.
Now every time I pick up a cig I can,t help but think about how I am letting myself,and my kid down.
So I keep reading the support letter,s and hoping that I will come to that thought where I want to stop again. Until that time I am smoking, and not having a fun time doing it.
Your support is helpful thank you all. MR MOM
