ArwensMom, I'm really sorry to read that you are having such a rough time. I'm gong to tell you a reality, IT WILL GET BETTER!!!!! I have 45 days and it's only been the last week that I have hours now that I can say I'm doing so much better. A full day .....No.....like I just said I have hours of feeling good. The truth is I'm finally stopping feeling sorry for myself. I quit cold turkey, I made the decision to quit. I didn't do it because someone or one's talked me into it, or for bad news from the doctor. I just know that for years, months, days, hours, I would say to myself "YOU HAVE TO QUIT SMOKING" then I would fill in the rest with before you get...................................... So I decided to stop and I did. Up to the moment I smoked my last smoke I was happy and excited for the decision I had made for myself. Then reality hit me.......I had made a decision to quit. Was I going to quit or was I going to quit. I became so angry with myself for quitting. But alone with this decision, was the time I had under me. . I had gone a day, I had gone two days, I had gone 3 days, .....etc. I could never go that long without a smoke before. I could realize that, yet my anger was greater then clear thinking. Yet each day I didn't pick up. My emotions were out there, my anger has been more then I've ever experienced, I have been spaced out and with tremors, I have taken to punishing myself with food to prove that all they say about gaining weight is true so 9 pounds later I'm in the weight gain club. And I have been Queen of my own self pity party. I have even had family members that say they will support me if I go back to smoking. WOW, was that the final wake up call to me. I was making everyone around me besides me so miserable that they would support me if I went back to smoking. It was finally time for me to sit back and remember why I CHOOSE to quit. It was finally time for me to be grateful for all these terrible, and most times unbearable things that I'm going through so that when I think about smoking again and having to quit again it will not happen. I don't have another quit in me. This last week I have tried to change my stinken thinking around. It's been a process of different things. I keep breathing deeply

Arwen'smom you sound great. Take that old stinken thinken and turn it around to what will work for you and it sounds like you are. Don't think you are alone, last week we were sitting outside of a shop and next to me was an ashtray, someone put a lite cig. in it and walked away. I moved closer just so I could smell it. Now that is sick, but what was sicker was I got angry when it went out. So I understand where you are coming from. But we need to change our thinking and sounds like that is what you are doing. Hang in there you are doing great. Hey, you haven't picked back up today and that is a milestone. CONGRATULATIONS [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/9/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 46 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 931 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $230 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 3

Arwensmom I just want to hug you. I am so proud of you I know it is not easy turning crazy thoughts around in your head and you have done it. I am just so Happy for you. Polly [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/2/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 53 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,445 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $196.1 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 15

Arwensmom, you really have to want to quit smoking to make it work. You could sit down and make lists reasons to quit, advantages to quitting any thing as long as it is positive and about quiting. You seem to have opened the door to the Nicodemon and he is doing the Happy Dance all over your quit. You can do this you are very strong just take things a little easier. Good luck Polly [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/2/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 52 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,422 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $192.4 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10

Oh, Arwens' Mom, I am so sad to hear you are still having such a horrible time. How long has it been now? Have you gone to the doctor about your tremors yet? How about talking to him/her about all the struggles with this quit you are having. There are some great NRTs out there to help you. Do not feel bad if you have to use something those first few weeks or months. I am a warm chicken, who would never have gotten this far without the patch. Please keep up the fight, It is so worth it for your health and peace of mind. Arwen needs a healthy Mom. [color=Red]redrosie[/color] [IMG]http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e58/saggysac/woof.gif[/IMG] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 53 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,283 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $439.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 9

Hi Arwensmom, It's great to hear you sounding so positive again. That really is 1/2 the battle. You REALLY have to believe you can do it. Then you will. It seems for some reason you had been sabotaging yourself. You have to get tough on yourself. Don't let that Nicdemon bring you down. I am glad you can get your gum cheaply. Now your mind can't use that excuse to sabotage your quit. Keep Strong, It's been a rough road for you, but look how far you have come. [color=Red]redrosie[/color] [IMG]http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e58/saggysac/sign%20offs/believers.gif[/IMG] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 54 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,308 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $448.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 33

have you been to the doctors yet? in the meantime try some nic gum to get you through this lots of us have used it or the patch,not all of us can do it cold turkey. whos to say you wouldnt have forgotten the door anyway! we all do stupid things,dont give up giveing up, get some gum . jan xxx [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/13/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 133 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,336 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �525.35 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 12 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 40 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17

Good for you ArwensMom! The power of possitive thinking is amazing. I'm glad to see you are feeling better! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 238 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,769 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $833 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17

Awrensmom...replace all those I can'ts with I can. Better yet how about I WILL! Get mad at the addiction. It has taken over your life and taken away you ability to survive a normal day without it. That should really tick you off. It does me. You are in charge. This is your life. Get rid of the negative. OK so you can't take medication..then you are going to have to set your mind to beatting this horrible addiction. I'm serious here. Get it set in your mind once and for all that you ARE going to succeed. Nothing stands in your way but you. I believe you can do this. I have watched your postings and I know you are having a hard time. It's time to stop being the victum. Fight back! Kick that nicodemon out of your mind once and for all and don't allow him back in. Get your thinking together. Replace that negative thinking with possitive and you will be amazed at what you will be able to accomplish. Instead of being afraid of the work you do get determined to do it right! I don't mean to sound harsh but if you want to succeed, you have to do whatever it takes. You have to want this quit and the success of life without smoking more than anything you have ever wanted before. Set your mind to it and do it! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 237 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,753 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $829.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 20 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 39 [B]Seconds:[/B] 49

If you pay attention to your language, it might sound as though you are blaming all your woes on quitting smoking and therefore looking for an excuse to smoke. Look at this: [quote] I don't know that I can cope with all the disasters this endevor is causing me. [/quote] [quote] All I could think about was having a cigarette. That was on my mind so strongly that I forgot to lock up. First time in my whole life. [/quote] [quote] I spent two hours last night at home just saying to myself, "don't smoke, you don't want a cigarette" until I so stressed out that I took sleeping pills. [/quote] [quote] I can't say that this is worth it another day. I really can't. [/quote] Many of us have suggested that you get some medical attention because it seems as though there is something more going on for you than just quitting. Have you done that? As the moderators frequently say, smoking can mask other issues. If you really want to quit, you'll look for help. If you don't really want to quit, you'll look for reasons why not. In either case, it's a choice only you can make. Rusty