I have been reading alot of posts for the past hour or so, but not just today it's been everyday since my quit. I just read one that made me feel ill because the realization really just HIT ME like a bag o'bricks swingin' from outta the sky with a messge " YOU'VE REALLY SCREWED YOUR POOR BODY UP AND NOW THAT YOU ARE 1/2 WAY TO THE GRAVE JUST SEE IF YOU CAN STOP THIS ADDICTION NOW BEFORE YOU ARE ALL THE WAY THERE."
Some message huh.
I have such a headache, I've had it all day. I feel soooo lightheaded right now too. I need to get going home but the admin left early and it gave me a chance to pop on the boards here to read. I'm glad I did. My quit is TOTALLY reinforced now, and I knew I was going strong already. NO MORE. N.O.P.E.
I have to say, I did treat myself with a boston creme filled pastry as a late afternoon reward. Now mind you I have one of those things like twice a year. I am NOT a sweet eater, I was just in the mood for something exactly like that today. And it was so yummy! Now the admin who I work with gave me a look when I was eating it and said to me, OH MY GOD THAT'S EVIL!!! And she put her fingers up in a cross position as if to keep it from affecting her. Well, I explained about the reward system when you quit, and the dopamine levels in the brain, etc, and she turned and suggested a whole bunch of rewards that have nothing to do with food. I said that I don't eat sweets like that really. It was like she didn't hear me. It was just judgment judgment judgment. I know she wasn't really pointing the 'bad' finger at me but I could not really enjoy my snack at all...I felt so bad 3/4 of the way through it I wanted to put it down and cry. So much for my reward. Phooey!
I really feel like I am not in a very supportive environment here at work anymore. It was fine when I smoked, but it wasn't either, because even though they would tell me 'eew how could you smoke, oh my gosh you just had one didn't you cuz my throat is closing up' it was alright, I didn't get hell because of it. I am getting hell for it now that I've quit, and it is just really getting annoying. I am dealing with things and coping best to my ability. I have not come to work and left early when in danger of the triggers and such. I am working this hard. I almost did not com
