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Advice please?


butterfly swimmer
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butterfly swimmer
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20 years ago 0 2830 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You've got it! Limit alcohol, leave if you have to, prepare ahead of time (which is what you're doing right now by posting) and have a good time - smoke free. Newbkr, you just have to tell yourself that this time, you're going to stay quit no matter what. You have a few days to prepare for this, and I've found that if I recognize a situation before hand as being a tempting situation, then it's never as bad as I thought it would be. Since you've already recognized it as such, and are preparing now, hopefully it won't be that bad. Just have a good time, stay busy (a great way to ward off craves) and enjoy yourself! And then come back on Monday and tell us what a great time you had... smoke free. Crave the Quit! Butterfly [IMG]http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c177/kissnflirt/littlebutterfly.gif[/IMG] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 75 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,885 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $247.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 24 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10
butterfly swimmer
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butterfly swimmer
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20 years ago 0 2830 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Uhhhhhh Vicki, would you clear something up for me please?????? You said [color=purple]"One thing you could try is to make a deal with yourself. Say to yourself that if you don't smoke this week-end you can re-think your options next time a party comes up. I know that sounds silly but I'm always making deals with myself."[/color] In options, are you referring to if she makes it through this one smoke free, that she can smoke at the next party?!?!?!?!?!? Please tell me that's not what you're saying! I hope I misunderstood you. Crave the Quit! Butterfly [IMG]http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c177/kissnflirt/littlebutterfly.gif[/IMG] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 75 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,891 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $247.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 47 [B]Seconds:[/B] 14
newbkr
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newbkr
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20 years ago 0 80 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well, I come back embarrassed today. Notice that my meter has been reset again. The party was not a problem. I was prepared for that trigger and for being around those smokers. Dinner the night before with someone I used to work with was the trigger I didn't expect or prepare for. She is a widow, and the conversation focused on the loss of her husband several years ago, the very recent loss of my boyfriend, and the isolation of finding oneself suddenly single at 40-something, not because the relationship didn't work, but because suddenly the person is gone. By the end of that dinner I didn't care about the quit, or about anything really. All I wanted was to numb those overwhelming feelings. So...back at it today trying to figure out how to deal with the feelings without hiding behind the smoke. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/16/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 0 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

  • Quit Meter

    $207,450.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6117 Hours: 15

    Minutes: 22 Seconds: 27

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    46100

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    691,500

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newbkr
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newbkr
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20 years ago 0 80 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Brent -- I have not been on the site so did not see your initial response. I'm sure whatever "tough love" you dished out was motivated only by the desire to help me change my mindset and I appreciate it.

  • Quit Meter

    $207,450.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6117 Hours: 15

    Minutes: 22 Seconds: 27

    Life Gained

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    46100

    Smoke Free Days

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    691,500

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newbkr
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newbkr
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20 years ago 0 80 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
No harm, no foul. And you make a good point. I am in the horrifying position of eventually having to figure out how to create a social life for myself as a single person (ACK), and I don't want to do that as a smoker. His birthday is this week, and it's got me reeling emotionally, I gotta tell you. I miss him so much it physically hurts. Smoking is just the way I've been hiding from the feelings, and I've got to quit hiding in order to get through this.

  • Quit Meter

    $207,450.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6117 Hours: 15

    Minutes: 22 Seconds: 27

    Life Gained

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    46100

    Smoke Free Days

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    691,500

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

newbkr
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newbkr
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20 years ago 0 80 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Okay, here's the scenario. Party for a friend coming up. Important to go, not just for the person, but for myself. I need to get back out in the world. Too many quit failures to even count at this point, but determined that I AM going to make it. I want to attend this party, want to enjoy my friends, want to keep my latest (fragile) quit intact at the same time. EVERYONE there will be smoking. I know that strictly limiting alcohol intake and just plain leaving if necessary are two key ingredients to being successful. Please give me your insights and words of wisdom on this one. I really really want to check in here Monday and tell you that I made it this time. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/9/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 2 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 34 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $6.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 32 [B]Seconds:[/B] 20

  • Quit Meter

    $207,450.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6117 Hours: 15

    Minutes: 22 Seconds: 27

    Life Gained

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    46100

    Smoke Free Days

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    691,500

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

newbkr
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newbkr
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20 years ago 0 80 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks everybody...this has been really helpful.

  • Quit Meter

    $207,450.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6117 Hours: 15

    Minutes: 22 Seconds: 27

    Life Gained

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    46100

    Smoke Free Days

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    691,500

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

Jags
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Jags
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20 years ago 0 167 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey newbkr, I agree with what everyone said. Make sure you have an exit strategy. If it gets to be too much, you need to be able to get out of there. Good luck and let us know how it goes! Jags [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/19/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 357 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,153 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1095.99 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 49 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 11

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    Days: 8404 Hours: 11

    Minutes: 55 Seconds: 54

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    138,300

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Lizzie
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Lizzie
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20 years ago 0 579 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Newbkr, I was wondering how you were doing. I know how painful it still all is, and I've been thinking of you. As to your smoking question....Meeting up with your smoking friend was probably just too much to ask too soon. Too much temptation. You will have to phone her next time. ;) Anniversary's of any kind - and especially the first one - are going to be tough. It will be a relief to get past it. Getting out and about is just like taking baby steps again - it took me ages. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) Lizzie

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    Days: 932 Hours: 3

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    6590

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Katy
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Katy
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20 years ago 0 763 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
my honest advice??? quit subjecting your baby quit to these circumstances. a quit is like a newborn infant....it's YOUR responsibility to keep it alive and safe.....would you place a newborn in a situation where it was likely to be killed??? of course you wouldn't.....well, do the same for yourself! and believe me....this quitting business IS a matter of life or death The choice is yours....just how badly do you want to NOT smoke??? It has to be badly enough to do whatever keeps you on track. You pose the question and the answer is clear as glass.....how bad to you want this quit? Act accordingly Katy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/4/2002 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1468 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 58,753 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $8074 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 191 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24

  • Quit Meter

    $161,350.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 5579 Hours: 13

    Minutes: 30 Seconds: 36

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    46100

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    922,000

    Cigarettes Not Smoked


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