Update yet again from Denisey This post is yet again, another thank you to all of you out there. Wow, I am so touched by all of you. I thank each of you, special thanks to Lady, Brent, 3galeh, golferman, ssc support, Luna, Rusty, guitarplayers wife,Katy, Shevie, Polly, Joy, bonbons, and you DREAMER-how did we get to where we are now DREAMER? Today after a day out with the kids, came home with a car full of groceries and there was "THE JERK" sitting in his car with a friend in our driveway smoking-and it wasnt cigs! I was disgusted with him. He must have had a heart attack to see me home earlier than he expected :gasp: and he sent his friend away quick. He then rushes in the house in an attempt to help me unpack the stuff and I cant tell you how seething I was and how disgusting he smelled :mad: I had to go outside with the dogs so I didnt start a scene in front of the girls!!! I have chewed so many straws I had to buy another box lol. I am not giving into the cravings from my anger because damn that jerk, I am not going thru hell week again because of him. I know whether our marriage survives or not, smoking isnt going to be my downfall. I am not going to let him suck me back into my addiction, it may have been close last night but DREAMER and I found eachother alone on line at a weak moment and were able to swap im's before SSC yanked our personal info off the screen(not their fault, legalities, u know) Lady was unbelievable, within seconds, she was trying to contact us and stop us from making a big mistake---bless you Lady. I feel so lucky that u all were there and still are. I will be there for you too because it is all very personal now to all of us. We will survive this if we stay bonded together :) I sure wasnt expecting to lose faith in my quit yesterday but a lot of things added up and then whoops, I almost said "screw this". You just never know how crazy you are until you quit smoking I guess. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/14/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 8 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 174 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $40 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 52 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18

Update from Denisey Let me tell all of you about my husband. He is a former smoker of about two packs a day. He gave up smoking about ten years ago. He now smokes cigars. Since his brother became ill with liver cancer, he has been on quite a "midlife crisis" and selfishness trip. This has been about a year now. His brother had a liver transplant and is doing fabulous but my husband still acts like he is single buying toys for himself like a 4 wheeler, Harley Davidson, etc while me and our two daughters do our own things. After he screamed at me the other night to start smoking again, he asked me the next day if I want him to move out. I said under the circumstances with what I am presently going through, I dont want to make any decisions. We have been falling out of love for many, many years but especially this past year. I am fortunate to have my wonderful daughters, ages 10 and 5, great coworkers and family. He is not going to get to me with his negativity and selfishness. Thanks again to everyone for their invaluable advice-it really has helped me :) Denisey [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/14/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 5 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 113 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6

Thank you everyone for your support---from Denisey I have read and re-read your kind supportive words throughout the day. Thank you, thank you. You all have made me feel like I can get through this without my husband's support because I have a place to get my support from others who are going through the same thing or have. So many of your responses were helpful. Yes, this is my quit and regardless of the people around me, I can do it! Thanks again. I only hope more people can find this website-it is truly a godsend! :)

I am on day 5. Last night I had a huge fight with my husband because I asked for his help with the kids. He told me I was a ***** ***** and that I should go back to smoking. I ended up leaving the house and walking one of my dogs because I was afraid that if I stayed and argued with him, I would light up. I dont want to start smoking again but it is very hard when you have no support at home. I am so angry :mad: with him! As far as my physical withdrawl symptoms, I feel wired, have had tremors and big mood swings. I have been on the verge of tears several times in the last few days. I truly hope I can make it. Thanks for listening. I feel like I am going to lose my mind :confuse: Denisey

Den, my husband said that I went from sneaking outside to smoke to going outside to cry. Which is best - let it all hang out!! I learned alot about myself, my marriage, my family, my church, my friends, etc. when outside in my crying conferences. Keep up the quit!

Good for you Denisey what you are going thru is so hard and to not have the support from the person you need it most from is just painful I think you made a wise choice when you told your husband you would not make any major decisions right now one crises at a time you are amazing not only for you but for your girls as well they have a very strong Mama :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/2/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 17 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 477 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $62.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32

Denisey i'm glad you have your wonderful daughters!! Look to them for all the strength you need. I'm sure they're glad mom is smoke free now! Sounds like your husband has to work out some of his issues on his own. It's probably easiest for him to take it out on you even when it may have nothing to do with you. Keep up the good work!!! BJ [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 19 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 388 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $47.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 52

I know how hard it is when the partner is not supportive. I've had many attempts to quit before and just get the "oh we've had all this before and you are weak" looks and comments from her ladyship. That's why this site has been so important.........however, she is starting to look at me differently now! Its 40 plus days and I think she is taking me seriously. We have to face up to the fact also that we are probably not very nice when we are going through withdrawal! Just keep walking away and walking the dogs. The final resort if it dosen't get any better (and I've mentioned this on several occasions), is to print your favourite posts regarding lack of support and to staple them to his forehead! (only joking!......or am I?) Whatever happens.......keep smoke free! Brent [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/8/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 41 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 290 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �205 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18

Hi Denisey, have been following the story and you have my sympathy for your situation. My advice (for what it is worth) is to make sure that you separate the two issues, smoking and what you affectionately call "The Jerk". We get emotional when we go through withdrawral. Sometimes this can bring things to a head that need to be resolved.......sometimes we say things that we regret in weeks or months to come. Time out is a great way to collect thoughts and work things out....not always easy but if you could find somewhere to think clearly for a few days? What ever happens, there is a pile of support here because through all of this......you have not smoked! Give yourself a pat on the back. Brent [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/8/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 45 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 319 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �225 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39

Dear Deniesy: I didn;t get very much support either and when you fight, they will use it against you. Just prove to him that you can do this. I am sure, he doesn't think you can. I know it is very hard when you argue. There is alot more to this than just quitting smoking. I think it was a whole issue with me not liking myself anyway. I wish I could explain it better. I am 54 and determined this time I am going to do it. Just go to bed when you can. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/5/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 74 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 745 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $185 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 4