I want a cig so bad I am in the crazy mode. Ready to get that walker of mine and go to the store. This crave/urge/junkie is so strong it's driving me crazy. I understand smoking is bad etc. Reading some posts and saw someone gave into a cig. I was so jealous, pissed, I don't know I wanted one too. Hell, what is wrong with me?? I don't understand... Iam not a violent woman but got so mad at myself I punched the wall. I hate the way I feel and right now I hate myself for feeling like this. I thought I could handle it I really did.... I feel like a looser and I want to smoke so bad..can not stand it anymore!! I have my SSC Messenger on but no one is on it to talk. I feel like I'm going to loose this battle. Don't know what else to say--what else can I say? babs :( [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 3 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 119 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $15.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 6 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25

Thank you for saving me!!! I almost gave in--I was their!! Still feeling crabby, mad but I am not smoking. My poor husband is going through hell and I feel aweful and guilty for that too. I think for now in the beginning I need to be careful about reading posts about someone smoking. But you know what else happened as I just read this? I had Chinese Food!! People have written that after eating Chinese Food they were having some crazy craves. UGUGUGH Not having Chinese food for a long time, if ever. This crave was the strongest the roughest since I quit!! God Bless all that wrote and IM me. I am humbled by your help. When I had no stength you gave me yours. When I didn't believe in myself you helped me believe in me.... I'm pretty warn out and gonna get some sleep. Head is hurting and emontionally worn out. I'll check in with you tomorrow. again, my sincere appreciation to all! God Bless, babs [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 4 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 120 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $21 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5

This site is so unlike any other site I've seen. I was on a different site when I relapsed last year and I posted. I must admit I was reamed out and was told that I didn't wanted to quit. I was devistated, relapsed and couldn't believe that people would treat someone like that. It's like being a herion addict or cocaine addict trying to recover. I am human and humans do make mistakes. Even though I've been on this site for a short time I must say how much I appreciate the support, the strenght, the help and understanding from the people here!! Yesterday, was really bad for me and "Lady" jumped in and helped me through. I am very self concious and hope "Lady" doesn't think I'm a nut as I called her my angel for saving me. My goodness what a junkie I am!! My hubby was going to buy me cigs because I was begging him to.I scarred him because I told him I would crawl with my walker to the store!! That's not my style. And I will not lie to him or for that fact to anyone here on this site. To make a long story short after talking with "Lady" my husband called and I didn't answer the phone. He didn't buy me cigs and I was relieved. Still crying and feeling fusturated I went to bed. My night was horrible but I lived through it. I was dreaming that I found a cig and was smoking. it was horrible!! When I woke up I just got out of bed and sat in the other room. Opened the windows and listen to the birds sing their songs. I want to live and don't want to die before my time because of cancer. Every morning I notice the nice smell in my house. My hair smells nice. No stink'n cig breath anymore. I try to think about the positive things. I mean what does this object that I light up do for me?? It makes me stink, can give me cancer, yellows my teeth, etc... I am grateful for everyone here on this site. Grateful for all of the help I have received. Without you I don't think I would of made it this far. I do know one thing for sure I do not want to smoke anymore. Like I've said a hundred times I am a junkie an addict and now I need to break that mental habbit. I believe that in 1 more day I will no longer have nicotine in my system. I am so happy about that. My plans are that my husband will be taking me to the trailer weather permitting. I think I want to stay there with m

babs! Hang on girl! TAKE SOME VERY DEEP BREATHS, INHALE...HOLD...EXHALE...HOLD... REPEAT AS MANY TIMES AS NECESSARY DRINK WATER, POP A PIECE OF HARD CANDY OR SOMETHING.... You are on Day 3 and you are dong PHENOMENAL hon!!! Just don't smoke, just say NOPE!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! STAY STRONG, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!! EVE [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 21 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 176 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $63 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 22 [B]Seconds:[/B] 20

babs. I'm glad to hear that you are doing well. I'm with Shevie too on this- You are way better off not reading posts that may trigger uncomfortable emotions for you right now. Whatever you do, don't light up, come here and post, and read and post, and read and post some more. There will always be amazing folks here for you! Many Blessings, Eve :) Proud to be a C.A.R.E. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 22 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 176 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $66 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 31 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32

babs, Im so proud of you. I remember those days all to well. I didn't find SSC till I was a week into my quit. Keep leaning on us when you need to. Your hubby will make it threw this crazy time with you. Mine is still hanging in there with me. Have a great nights rest. SmogFree Shamrock Alley [url=http://][IMG]http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i197/lorilind/animated_clover.gif[/IMG][/url] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/30/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 31 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 405 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $122.45 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 12 [B]Seconds:[/B] 3

Phew Babs, why do you think you are a loser??? I am so amazed at how strong and determined you are to get through such a difficult situation that I think you are completely the opposite! Reading posts such as yours gives me so much strength to carry on with my own quit that I would like to thank you for coming on here and seeking help rather than just giving in. Promise us Babs that before you give in to Old Nic you will allways come here first and seek help. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/6/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 83 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 998 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �207.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13

Hang on Babs... Breathe and take some deep breaths. I'm logging into the messenger right now. You do not want to smoke. Your addiction wants you to smoke. You are on day four. Right in the middle of Hell week. It isn't easy but don't give up now. The worst of it is just about over. Drink some water, yell out loud, kick, punch walls, whatever it takes, just don't smoke. You can do this. You don't want to start over now. Keep going. I'm on the messenger now. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 302 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,059 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1057 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 26 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 3

Babs, Let us know how you are doing today. Chin up. I'm sure you are much better! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 303 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,067 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1060.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 26 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 4

Hi, Babs. I completely understand the jealous, pissed, "Why can't I do it too" feeling on seeing someone slip. I've felt it many times. But you just can't do it. Someone else's problems are not your (or my) excuses. You have to try to isolate yourself from their emotions. Just because your addiction is calling, screaming, does not make you a loser. It's not a weakness or a fault. It's a chemical process in your brain. Nothing more. Grab a pillow and beat the snot out of it if it will make you feel better. Heck, beat the snot out of two or three. Just do not smoke. Smoking will only reset the clock and prolong the agony. How are you doing, Babs? Shevie [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/23/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 342 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,840 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1299.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 63 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 11 [B]Seconds:[/B] 38