Hi Laurie,
I completely agree with you - giving up smoking can feel profoundly like grief, at least for me it can and does!
And like grief, where we wish above everything else that we could have back that which we have lost, we know in our heart of hearts, we cannot. It is magical thinking to imagine that a return to smoking would be a step forward. That if we could just have one cigarette, it would be manageable.
That's my conclusion anyway, Laurie. I'm becoming more and more familiar with how strong and pervasive the extent of my addiction is. It tells me I could do something which I know I would ultimately regret. Lord knows, I've done it before!
The trick for me is in keeping those thoughts at bay, or objectifying them, knowing where they are coming from! I just find them too painful, you know what I mean? They are illogical and outdated thoughts, and we are challenging that thinking!
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I entertain the idea that I could smoke again, despite knowing that I can't, despite knowing the amount of effort that I have put into this quit.
The difference between giving up smoking and grief, is to me, one of choice and power.
Unlike the loss of someone or something, this is something we have chosen to change, and unlike grief, we are not powerless! Quite the reverse.
Hang in there, use this resource - we can do this!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/28/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 17
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 356
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $119
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 9