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2024-12-14 1:53 PM

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11 years and counting

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Feels like hell week all over!!

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

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8 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Welcome Astrid,

I am glad you found us. 

I am very sorry to hear what you went through when you were attacked. I was very shocked to read it! Are the memories of this event still effecting you today? Any intrusive memories? Trouble sleeping etc.? Have you spoken to any mental health professionals about this incident? 


I am also sorry to hear about the lost loves in your life. It sounds like they have had a big impact on you. I am curious. What did you learn from those experiences? What do you want to remember about those experiences?


Ashley, Health Educator
8 years ago 0 2 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Astrid. Thanks so much for sharing. I don't have any words of advice or anyway to make what you are going through better. I do want you to know that you are not alone. You may feel alone, and that is totally a valid and justified feeling. No matter what, we are all connected. In our pain, in our suffering, in the Universe, in this human existence. If you haven't already looked into it, you may want to look into group therapy or some other type of group dynamic. I know for me, being in a group (as much as I hated the thought), was really beneficial in realising that I wasn't the only one feeling X, Y or Z. For me, that gave me some comfort. Made me feel more "normal", rather than "everyone else is fine, and it's just me that is struggling". You mentioned the assault. Have you looked into trauma therapy, or other type of trauma modalities? I have been surprised to see how much trauma-informed therapy is out there, and how devastating trauma can be to the body, as well as the soul. I'm glad that you are here. Hugs, Kim
8 years ago 0 1 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Hello to whoever is reading this,

I am Astrid and I am Bipolar. I really have no idea what I am doing here, none at all. I went in for a meeting with my boss to discuss how I've been feeling recently and she suggested I check out this program just to have an outlet. I don't know if it'll help me, but here goes nothing. I am thinking that you’re probably reading this thinking, “I am not going to read this.” That’s fine. You don’t need to. But I need to get this all out.

I am a twenty-something-year-old college student and I have the mentally of basically a thirteen-year-old, or so I’ve been told. I am in legal studies, so basically my life is numbers because Law is basically all numbers (Adjustments, claims, mergers, acquisitions). A little tidbit about me is that tend to ramble. I ramble a lot. It’s kind of annoying, but it’s me.

Many years ago, when I was still learning about the dangers of the world, I was out late one night with one of my best friends and we were attacked by three men. Not your run of the mill “hey, you look like a ***** so I am going to curse at you until you cry” sort of verbal attack, but rather, a full on harmful assault that left me not only physically wounded, but mentally scared with a side arm crippling anxiety. My friend was commanded to take her top off and she had her leg bashed with a baseball bat, but I got it much worse for trying to intervene with what was happening to her. I was beaten for a full ten minutes back and forth between three men with a baseball bat and a knife and sexually assaulted. Not that I didn’t already have that problem of anxiety somewhat, but it made it much worse. I have a hard time with trusting anyone, especially the opposite sex. 

Since then, life has been full of ups and downs. I have gained many things, but I’ve also had great losses… many great losses that have probably messed me up in someways that I choose not to recognize most days.  

Oh. I’ve also been in love… twice. Like real, core-shattering love. Not that sort of teen dreamboat, everything works out-type of love like you see on TV, but the type that adults keep behind closed doors. At least it felt that way for me. I could never speak for either one, but all I can say is that I am pretty sure all three of us won’t be writing each other Christmas cards anytime in the future. I don’t hate them. Frankly, I don’t blame them for wanting to go. It just hurts still… I am currently alone. Single. Completely and utterly on my own. Not that I have a problem with it really, it is just very strange. I have not been alone like this since I was about fourteen… That’s a pretty long time looking back at it. Not being truly single for a course of over ten years. I think the weird part is that mostly it doesn’t really feel much different than before.They both aren’t my favourite subjects, but they cross my mind quite frequently. It is kind of hard to not think about someone when they basically became the center of your universe for the longest time.

Anyways, that’s enough. I wasn’t supposed to blubber on, but I did obviously. 

Good night.

Ax


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