It's my second night. I'm feeling better already, at least periodically, and enough to feel some small hope about my new plan. Pretty huge depression plus perfectionism-fed anxiety and negative thoughts that literally keep me from meeting deadlines for days and days and then killing myself to get something done in some sort of passable form, then back to all the other stuff I'm late on... and so it goes. I've been doing lots of research on CBT especially and it seems to have a big chunk of potential for my situation and outlook. I incorporated it into my hourly mood journal today a little and I can't believe how much it has already helped, even tho I'm a neophyte with it and probably therefore not really using it to its fullest potential, but just the mere remembering that my feelings aren't facts helped me take a step back several times when I felt myself start freaking and feeling anxious - it still came but considerably less than usual. So there. Enough babble - guarded optimism is where I am this evening. I hope you all are feeling at least a bit as hopeful as I am.
