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Another emotion today...Frustration!

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Another emotion today...Frustration!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

Thanks m and Ashley, glad I have you guys to bounce these things off of. I'm feeling much better, smoking but happy! I've managed to solve a bunch of issues at work that I was blaming myself for....and had some good conversations with some prickly people. I'm not concerned about my increase -yet. If it doesn't happen by the end of the month, I'll be a little concerned. You know I work for a great company, have been there 17 years, and they are my second family, so to leave would be devastating....either by their choice or mine.

m I don't think it would be 4 people to replace me....maybe 2 though ha ha. I can totally see you burning yourself out after 5 years. I was on that track, and I will admit that I do work from home at night and on weekends in the crunch times, but I try not to do that as much. It's not good for us, we are human and even if I don't have much else to do, I need to do something other than work on weekends.

Yes, I am quick to forgive others, and my approach is always gentle....I don't get the same in return,because we don't know what cooks in the other person's pot, the issues I have with certain people in the office are well known to sr. management and I'm not the only one who has those issues. I just need to learn how to deal with them, and still get the job done :)

Tomorrow I have to put my Internal Auditor hat on...fun! NOT...talk about a job that puts you in a position to potentially push peoples buttons if not approached in the right way. I prepped well, and it will all be fine :)

Laura

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Ifarina,

Pardon me for jumping in late in the conversation. I'm sorry to hear about your work frustrations. It sounds like you are not being treated fairly at all. I can only imagine all the emotions and insecurities that must be running a muck right now! Know that everything you are feeling is justified and please don't start to question yourself. You sound like an incredibly reasonable and understanding individual; you deserve the same in return. Unfortunately, as we all know, reciprocity is not always a given. Especially at work, where people are busy and office politics can interplay. Keep your head up and keep moving forward. If this becomes a chronic issue perhaps we can help walk you through thinking about leaving this workplace. If this is only temporary work woes, then it will soon seem like a minor bump in the road. In either case, we'll help you figure it all out.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Ow! Laura, just reading about seeing in a report that others got the increase and you did not made my stomach drop. That is a terrible way to get such news. Hopefully it will get worked out. You are quick to release others from responsibility (your boss being busy) but even quicker to blame yourself (for everything!). Yes? A shift in that balance would surely be a Good Thing.

I can relate to the need for working harder, better... needing validation just to keep up with "normal". I had a great job where I thought that way each and every day. I only lasted 5 years before I burned out. After I left... they had to hire four people to replace me. I had no idea I was doing so much. It never felt good enough. Never.

It doesn't have to be this way for us. We can learn to see ourselves more realistically... be kinder and more balanced in our thoughts and behaviors. Writing this just reminds me of how far I have come thanks in huge part to this program... tough as it is... it is so worth it. I may have slipped, but.... maybe not so far as I thought.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

Thanks m! I did not think you were glib.

As for work, well I suspect as well that they value me, and that it's my own fears and lack of self worth, and low self confidence that causes me so much trouble. I feel like I have to work so much harder then everyone else because I'm not as smart as they are....I feel like I have to keep being told I'm doing the right thing, and that I'm doing a good job, just to feel like I'm not going to be fired. Then I feel bad for needing to have constant validation.

I know the feeling stems from my childhood, and having to grow up too fast, and not getting the validation I needed back then, but it doesn't help much to know that, except as I explain to myself.

Like the other day I was checking the payroll for my employee, confirming increases to budget, and I noticed that I'm budgeted for an increase in July. Everyone else who was on the July list was getting their increase, I was the only one that didn't. Now I know my boss is busy, and probably just hasn't had the time to tell me about it yet, and so it didn't get done, but there is that little voice inside my head saying, ha, there you see, you aren't getting your increase because you don't deserve it!

I'll keep you posted on that one...ha ha.

Laura

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Laura, I should not have been so glib. I'm sorry there is so much frustration for you at work right now. Sounds like you have been a loyal employee who does the very best you can for your company. I suspect you are more valued than you realize. I hope so anyway.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

While it is recommended to go through the sessions in order... the extra help topics don't need to be done in any order at all. They are ... um, well... extra help.

And definitely worth reading through.

I'm glad you are feeling "better" Laura. How wonderful to be frustrated and ignored

as opposed to anxious and depressed

I sure hope things get ironed out at work real soon!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

Thanks m - I'll give it a look see! I'm only on week #1 can I skip ahead?

There were 7 emails in my inbox this morning about this, that occurred after I left yesterday, but still nothing was solved. At least someone other than me is going around in circles :)

At least I'm feeling frustrated and ignored instead of anxious and depressed....that's a good thing!!!

Laura

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Hi Laura... I think you will find some help with that by going to:

My Program> More Help>Resolving Disputes (#5 butterfly).

Excellent session with a lot of focus on workplace relationships as well as personal ones. Worth your time to read through the information. I hope it helps!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

OMG, what a day!

I waste so much time and energy at work, going around in circles because I can't get the information I need to do my job. I've spent so much time with this same issue, and it never gets better or easier, and I need other people to give me information to do it. I politely email them, and ask for help, and I get ignored, or told to ask someone else, when I do that person says go back to the first person, and I get ignored. I ask my boss for advice, and tell her what I've done to get the info, and she says I should talk to the person and not just email them...because for some reason, some people are just not good with email...even when I have to send them data. So I go to them in person and nicely ask if they have time to get me the info, they ignore me, tell me to go away, or say I'm too busy for that, I have better things to do. I'm so frustrated in this and I have no more ideas as to how to solve the problem. I've had this exact issue many times, and it's at managements request that I do this task. I'm tired of dealing with people who don't get that I'm just trying to do my job, I'm not hassling them, I'm always polite and understanding, I know we are all too busy, but I still need the data.

I never do that to people at work, I never ignore email requests for help from co-workers, I may not have time to get their answer immediately but I always respond to them usually within a few minutes, either with the info if it doesn't take long, or with a time when I will get it to them....why can't other people have the same curtosy? why am I feeling like I'll get fired for not doing my job, when they get away with that crap?

oh well, that's my rant for today...I will go to the holder of the data tomorrow and nicely ask if he got my email, and when he thinks I can get the information, and if says ask so and so I might lose it, but no I can't do that. I will walk away, and try to calm down. Then go ask the other person, and see what happens....what a freaking waste of my time. well that's not important is it, it's just me after all, the invisible one.

How do I make myself not invisable, any ideas?

Calgon take me away!

Laura

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Another emotion today...Frustration!