First I want to say congratulations on finishing college. It sounds like you worked hard and had many challenges to face; so that is certainly an accomplishment. By no means are you a useless person.
I've been through periods where I haven't felt like myself and doing the simplest thing seems impossible. It is demoralizing and my low sense of self-worth makes it worse. But it's great that you identify yourself as a person full of dreams and that this current period is not the real you. You can feel better if you are willing to take the necessary steps, and you've already started by coming here and sharing your story! Welcome!
Thank you for telling us a bit about what you have been going through. It sounds like you are not feeling like yourself any more and you fell it is due to everything that has gone on in the past. How are you feeling today? Now that you are no longer speaking to your aunt what has changed?
When it comes to depression it is important to get a proper diagnosis from a doctor in order to determine appropriate treatment. This program is designed on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy principles which is one of the best known treatments for mood disorders like depression. The program does take a lot of reading and homework but if you put the work in you will see results. Have you had a chance to look at it yet? Any questions?
I look forward to reading more from you and getting to know you!
I am very sad. What's worse is that I don't really know what is going on with me. I believe I am going through a depression bec I am experiencing most of the symptoms based on the subject's descriptions when I took up the test before I registered and even long before I discover this program I've research a lot of articles to find out about my condition. I know there is something wrong going on inside me bec I changed a lot. I used to be a very enthusiastic person. A person full of dreams who can't be easily discouraged. I had very high confidence and belief in myself. But now it's like everything is very difficult to achieve. I was thinking of many reasons why I flipped and these are:
I am longing for a family, a home where I can sit and relax with my brothers and sister w/c I never experience again since my father died in 2001. I was just a first year high school then. And to finish my study I had to live with my uncle and cousins who supported me till I finish college in 2011. Almost 10 years that I never feel relaxed because I felt like my value is measured by what I accomplish in a day. whether doing the household chores or studying my lessons. You know it was like the feeling of loosing your scholarship, the only bridge to your dreams. IT was like living with fear.
When I finish my college I decided not to communicate with them anymore bec of my last conversation with one of my aunts. I felt like I never earned their respect, a recognition that I am a part of the family. She made me feel like a useless person. It broke all my self confidence. It turns me into pieces. I am not really sure if this is the root of everything I am going through now but there are still time when I feel down (w/c often happens) I blame her.
When I open up to other people they end up telling me a very complicated person.
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