EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Depression
Health Educator’s Corner
Stronger than you thought

Advanced Search Form

Stronger than you thought

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Good questions Vincenza! Knowing I have a choice whether to engage or withdraw is VERY empowering! In the past, I didn't know I had any right to defend against evening the tiniest of storms. If something blew my way... I opened the door wide, hid in the dungeon while havoc was wreaked, and just waited until the storm passed before I came out to survey the damage and attempt to rebuild my defenses. It has been a pretty exhausting pattern. That is HOW I endured storms in the past... I'm not sure it was terribly helpful. I guess the next question is how do I want to manage such storms from here on out. I dunno... but if I had to guess... Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha.......... I have no clue!

I'll work on a better answer though...

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi ~m,

Ramble anytime, especially if it helps. Your metaphor is an interesting one - how does it feel to allow yourself the opportunity to withdraw or engage how and when you want to?

What helped you endure the 'storms' in the past?

You are very brave ~m. It takes courage to share your experiences and your thoughts. Thank you for doing so, you continue to be an inspiration to many!

Vincenza, Health Educator

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Vincenza, I am so grateful for all the encouragement and support I find here. Even when I can't post, I do stop by nearly every day to read (and re-read) posts and review sessions to get my courage up, straighten my spine a bit and carry on.

My plans for a summer of relaxation, creativity, and fun have not come to fruition and while it originally felt like a terrible blow, I do recognize that the time is unique and perfect for the challenge which faces me now. Major changes are being requested... no... demanded of me relationship wise. I am being asked to give more and be more open and it is difficult. I have long protected myself and those around me by maintaining very strict, tall, indestructible walls behind which I battled my demons alone (therapists have occasionally been allowed back there and perhaps members of this forum (through my blog (now deleted

)).

I have mixed feelings about this process. I feel very weak and vulnerable but also strong and terribly brave. It is, afterall, my choice (despite the demands and (ummmm... senior moment... can't think of the word... it means when someone insists you do something "or else the deals off.")

Anyway... it is my choice how much to open myself to this person and to others. I know have the tools and ability to choose for me what is right. Not like before where I was always pushed and pulled along by the needs and expectations of others... too depressed to think for myself or believe I had any right whatsoever to do so.

I am being challenged but am accepting the opportunity to step out into it. I can deal with the uncertainty. I can dismantle my wall one brick at a time and peek out and see what it's like and how it feels and I can withdraw for a while and then take down another one... piece by piece. So far it has not come crashing down on me and while my fortress has been rudely stormed on occasion... it has stood fast and is in my power alone to bring down or build up.

Sorry for the story telling. I am rambling today but, it does helps me to visualize the picture... big and small. I hope it makes some sense (and possibly is helpful) to others as well. So that's where I am... and it's ok. Not at all what I planned, but ... oh well. At least I get to take naps now instead of battling toddlers to take them. Nothing sweeter to me right now than having that freedom and rest! It's the little things....

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi ~m,

I'm sorry to hear you are going through a very difficult time. I can't imagine as you've had to endure trying times in the past. I know you have it in you to get through your current circumstances. You have proven yourself very resilient in the past ~m, with wonderful words of encouragement for others.

You have the skills and the determination within you. Draw on your resources and reach out to us as much as you need to.

Thinking of you and keeping you in our prayers.

Vincenza, Health Educator

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

I am in the midst of possibly the greatest one I've yet to face (that's a large statement but true) ... my hope is to prove myself more resilient than I could ever have imagined. The CBT training will be crucial toward realizing that hope. Thank you eleveno and Pete for sharing your experiences. Hearing how you survived... gives me courage and hope too. Any prayers, positive energy, or good thoughts and encouragement is much needed and would be greatly appreciated.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 619

Due to a nervous breakdown I was absent from work for one year. When I came back to work again it was horrible the adaptation. All I wanted was to put a sick leave because I couldn't handle the situation. Anyway, I took one day at a time with many difficulties, did not put any sick leave and I finally got used to the work after 4 months.

I learned from this experience that it is best to deal with difficulties than to avoid them.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 223

Earlier this year, a two-year affair I was in ended. It was an intense and complicated relationship from my side, and I had become rather over-dependent on, and obsessive about, the other party. It ended with her saying hurtful things to me which were obviously intended to wound me. An ugly and messy finish to something that had once been beautiful and even spiritual for me.

I surprised myself by how well I took it, and how I was able to be thankful for escaping an obsessive and unhealthy relationship. I would have expected to be plunged into a deep depression, but that didn't happen, and I realised I have an emotional strength that I thought I'd lost. Oh yes, I still think of her from time to time and there's a little sore patch in my heart, but that's all.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 270

Members,

Could you please share an emotional experience during which you realized that you are stronger (i.e. more emotionally resilient) than you previously believed?

What were the circumstances of this experience? How did it make you feel? What did you learn from it?

Thanks in advance for your input.

Sonia

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

Stronger than you thought