I just started my second session and am having a rather rough day today. I am off work for at least another week and the thought of going back is looming larer and larger in my mind. It seems almost impossible to me that I have been off for three weeks already.
This session is about making Treatment Goals/Plans and scheduling pleasant activities. For some reason this has triggered a further downward spiral. I was starting to feel good. I started in the gym and my energy has been relatively normal for about a week and a half. I even woke up this morning feeling pretty good.
Then just after breakfast, my little girl came in the kitchen looking for me. She is quite independant for a two year old but for the past week, I have heard "No, I want my mommy" more and more often. When she came in this morning, I started to smile and then I was filled with this feeling of dread. I wanted to cry. All I can think is that I'm afraid to go to work again. I don't want all the work that I have started to go down the drain. I feel like as soon as I step foot back in the store, everything will go back to the way it was three weeks ago. I'll be so tired by the time I get home that I won't want to spend anytime with my children. I will be too tired to do anything but veg on the couch and watch tv.
I can't seem to shake these feelings. I had them last weekend when I was thinking of my doctor's appointment. She told me not to worry about going back to work just yet. So I dealt with it and sort of forgot about it. Now today it has gotten ten times worse. The lump in my chest feels heavier than it has ever been. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to pick my goals or breakdown any into smaller steps. Also, can't seem to think of pleasant activities to do. Does going or a Sunday Drive with my husband count?
Can someone please help me and give me some advice? I hate feeling like this.
