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miss y´all; crying over nothing at all

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miss y´all; crying over nothing at all

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

oh m, you sound like such a wonderful lady...no I'm not 113, sometimes I feel like I am though. I would share the beach with you, and we could walk it together if you are ever up here in beautiful British Columbia!!!

I have been to some the southern states, California, Arizona, and do love the warmth and sunshine, but I couldn't leave BC, the snow capped mountains, the walks in the woods, the ocean....ahhhhh we really have it all here. we do unfortunately get a lot of rain, which can make the depression so much worse.

I had a crappy day today, but I'm putting it behind me and moving on...another one is coming tomorrow!

I will have to change my age I guess...I'm only 46 really, but reading your post made me laugh :)

Laura

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Hey Laura... looking at the heading of this thread I have to say... the thing is... we (none of us) are crying over nothing. We may not be aware of what exactly is triggering us... but there is something that causes it. Always. Always. Always.

I just noticed that you said your age is 113! Cracked me up... I'm so glad we can share a good laugh in the midst of the terrible sadness. I SOOOOOOOOOOOOo get the feeling of being incredibly, unbelievably OLD.

I'm jealous of your time at the beach. I have lots of "beach" here in the desert southwest of the US... but we have a vast shortage of ocean. Well... of any water at all. I like imagining you walking on the beach with a good friend.

I like the idea of the rainbow meditation. I do love rainbows. When it does rain here... we usually get double rainbows. I've never seen them anywhere else. I am grateful for the occasional sighting. Brings hope... ya know?

Am I working? Wellllll............. not for pay anymore. My dh likes to say I'm retired which is a nice way of putting it. I am fortunate to have his support so I can stay home and concentrate on our critters and garden and home. I have three grandchildren that keep me busy as well.

Thanks for asking. I am hoping your week has started off well. Take care!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi Laura,

So glad you are finding the support and encouragement you are seeking from the DC community. Hope you had an equally good day today. I'm curious to know the rainbow meditation continues to help you!

Vincenza, Health Educator

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

Thanks for the kind words m, it means a lot that you guys are here for me, as I go through this. I had a pretty good day today, I'm not back to my normal happy self, but I did meet a my trusted friend that I work with at the beach, the tide was out, and it was a gorgeous sunny day. We walked way out in the sand and warm water, and talked and she is very understanding. Then we met up with another of her friends and found a little cafe and had lunch. I forced down half a sandwich and took the rest home.

I also found some good apps for my phone, for anxiety and depression, that are from exel for life, and they have all kinds of articles, tests and audio meditations, that you can take anywhere. I sat down in my zero gravity chair on my deck, and leaned it all the way back and did a few meditations. The one I liked the best is the rainbow meditation, and it takes you on a journey through a rainbow, and each color is a different emotion. So red is strength and orange is happiness, and yellow is joy and so on...and the thing is that if you practice it everyday, you will be able to call up the emotion you need by imagining that color. They are based on CBT so they go with what we are doing here.

How was your day, are you working?

Laura

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Laura... i love how proactive you are for yourself! That's half the battle. I'm impressed

Would love to hear how the mood tracker works for you. I love that your Dr. said not to worry about quitting the smoking right now. I so agree! You have enough to deal with at present. When the time is right.... it will happen. Thanks for the update. Keep posting!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

Thank you Matt! I'm still feeling a bit off and I'm still worried about going to work Monday, but I'm trying not to dwell. I have a friend that said I can call her anytime as she wasn't going through anything. I said I didn't want to burden people with my issues, and that everyone else has their own issues to deal with that are worse than mine. Seems like most of my friends and family are going through some major things right now, such as marriage break up, brother terminally ill, stuff like that, so I feel completely selfish with my own issues which are so minor compared to that kind of turmoil, even if I'm behaving like something major is going on, there isn't really just work stress.

I also went to see my dr. today, and she said I shouldn't have tried to quit on my own, and that when I'm ready we will adjust my meds, or add zyban to it so that I don't get this way next time. For now she didn't adjust anything, she said keep smoking, feel better and come back in three weeks. That felt a bit encouraging, not that I can even think about quitting now, it's getting me through the day.

I started the online program, lesson one read, and I'll start using the diary and tracker asap.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3046

Hi Ifarina,

I'm happy you have been working with the resources you have around to gain some support. Counselors and your doctor will have some great ideas on how you can approach your anxiety, any stresses, depression and your smoking. The program here will also have a lot of great information and tips as you work towards your goals and try to overcome the bouts of depression.

Regarding your smoking, you did great to get through a month smoke free, so be proud of that and learn from it. The first week is typically the hardest and you made it way past that. One thing I can tell you is if you are truly ready to quit and you just don't quit quitting, you will be able to get that smoke free life. You can talk with your doctor about NRTs/Medications and what may be suitable for you as additional aids to your smoking cessation (increase chances of quitting 2x vs placebo). Your workplace may also have access to a smoking cessation online program (such as ceridian stop smoking center) or you can also check out stopsmokingcenter.net. It is an evidence based program that helps set out your quit plan and prepare for your quit date. Then, it also provides with techniques and tips for maintaining a smoke free lifestyle. There are individuals that tackle addiction and depression at the same time but readiness is a big thing so once things stabilize a bit, it may be a better time.

Thanks for checking in and it is great to hear you having a better day. Enjoy this weekend.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

Thanks guys, I appreciate the support. I'm feeling much better today, like night and day really. I slept better last night, and ate a bit more today.

I really feel like I'm going to be a smoker for life though. I can't function when I'm all anxious and bursting into tears for no reason at work. Maybe one day when I don't have to go to work and be effective and efficient and on my toes, I can take the time I need to get smoke free. But if that's what I have to go through every day. Maybe when I retire or win the lottery I'll try again :)

I'm looking forward to relaxing this weekend, and hope that when Monday comes I'll still be ok.

Laura

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Hi Ifarina,

I quit smoking about 1 1/2 yr ago. If found a wonderful site called www.whyquit.com. I thoroughly explored the site and it did take a long time before I made a decision. Joel's rule (Joel is founder) is to never take another puff. This is the law of addiction. Try the site. It educates you also about the addiction. I know it is not easy. But keep trying. Wish you luck - come back and keep posting.

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miss y´all; crying over nothing at all