Maybe.......all I know is right now, NOTHING interests me. I wish i could sleep period. But I get up and its usually guilt that gets me up. There is no on here but I still feel guilty for sleeping too much.
My life is just so on hold right now. I have no one in my life that needs me like I did for years and I dont like being with me.
I dont enjoy anything, so dont know what to do. I so really want to smoke lately. I have had no apetite so it a challenge to get myself to eat good or at all. I wish all this would change.
Of course I do, I used to be able to do it all! 10-12-14-16-18 hour days were not uncommon then come home and be a husband and a dad and try to do this financial services business im trying again right now.
I was able to do it all.............and then something happened and everything was different, I dont know why, I dont know what happened. I went from being it all to being nothing, dissapointing my family. Its hard starting all over.....alone. I do have a few good friends, one will be picking me up for another good friend and You have been with me through this and I appreciate you very much. I mentioned last Sat to our office managers husband who was a Rep. then went back in to being a pastor, that through all this I found God too, I just have to remember he is with me
I just wish I could feel good about something, I just would like to feel at least a little happy, just for a minute, not to be worried, anxious and scared. I walked to the train station yesterday and my roommate drove me to the store, thats not going well.
Mycounselor is ok, we dont get much time together. I just wish I was the confident, tough old me. Dont know why I broke.
I cant believe its Dec 17, time going by scares me and I dont know why. Maybe because I feel like im not progressing. Plus with the meds, time is kinda like a blur and a lot of the previous week I dont remember.
I Really am not enjoying this part of my life!
and smoking sounds good too
