Im so bad a journaling, Ive started in the past and it doesnt last, plus I typ slow. Yesterday was ok, went to a noon meeting, had lunch with some of the guys from the meeting, then went to dinner and a Chapel service. Anxiety was bad all day. Tonight I have training with my financial services co. and a conference call at 9:30. In the morning I meet with the people Im doing career placement with for the next phase of aptitute testing. So, I have stuff going on, so I dont understand why I cant feel happy or excited or like something good may happen. I just worry a lot, think about my kids. I reallt dont even know my son! That is so hard, I wish I knew how to fix that. Driving is a huge issue on my mind as well. Since I have no insurance, I go to a clinic. I see the counselor every three weeks for 30 mins and the Pdoc every three weeks for 15 mins. I answered an ad on Facebook for clinical trials for depression, bipolar etc. but think I should ask my provider first. She is on vacation till after Christmas so wont see her until Jan. It really sucks going through this alone. Im so glad your there today.