Hi Diva:

 

I just want to say, I am where you are talking about.  I am questioning my diagnosis

I obtained in 1996 and I am wondering if what I remember is really true. I know I

have endured emotional abuse from my family, bullies and school but I don't

remember who, where or why. I was scapegoated also, and it is hard to make

decisions where family is concerned.  My last therapy session with my shrink, he

kept asking "Is an abusive brother better, or no brother at all". I am thinking about

that as tomorrow I am to go to Thanksgiving Dinner at my sisters.  I really do

not want to go, but I will use my strategies, as think what they are saying when

they are mean to me is lies.  Diva take care, and believe in your heart which is

true.  Have a great weekend and thank you for bringing up this topic, as other

people are right where I am and it is nice to know I am not alone.  Windsybarbie

Goofy,

Thanks for sharing your point of view and your experience with me! It helps to discuss things. It helps me figure out what I think. I still don't know exactly what to do about all this. But I will keep a journal of theese things, thoughts or belief that come from the abuse and eventually I will figure out what to do with them!

Diva, I don't think I have any advice for you.  As you saw in another topic/post I have difficulty feeling like I don't deserve "things, people".  It is amazing how many things I don't deserve some days.  I think your idea of journaling with my idea of chanting - that's not a good word for it.  I am trying to learn to recognize when those thoughts creep into my head and then tell my self I do deserve it and repeat as necessary. 

 

I am interested in seeing other people's ideas as well.  I think this falls under the heading of negative core beliefs.  We feel we are not worthy, loving, good enough, etc.  We tend to personalize based on our assumptions. I think we have this great big heading. I'm not worthy and all these negative little tennacles (SP?) that branch into our lives in so many places based on just this one negative core belief.

Diva,

 

Glad to hear you found the advice helpful.

 

You have raised some interesting points in your post. Members, what do you think? What are your reactions to Diva's post?

 

 

Hello Tofeliz, Ashley and Goofy. thanks for your help and encouragement. It helps a lot!

 

Ok, I figured out one thing. When people won't spend time with me or "play with me" or give me attention, I just figure it is my fault. I don't think, well he/she is mean and a jerk for ignoring me. Or at least think something neutral, like. Hmm maybe he/she just needs time a lone. I automatically think, I am too boring and not nice enough and he/she doesn't wan't to spend time with me. I was bad or I wadsn't good enough to get that person's attention. I feel like I have to earn people's time or attention. Like I don't deserve it. I know this comes from my childhood and from interactions with my dad. Now, the question is what do I do with this knowledge?

diva

 

good for u for talking about it and making a plan!

 

 

 

I think it sounds great too.  Keeping them all in one place is a great idea.  In fact, I think I'm going to follow your lead with some of the things that I've discovered and am discovering.

 

Thanks for the idea!

I think that sounds great diva!

 

Recording your thoughts here will be good!

 

Keep up the great work!

 

 

Hiya Goofy and Ashley!

Yes having support is really great!

And yes, this was an important step

As to what I am going to do next, I am not sure. I guess I will speak with my therapist. I will continue on with the program here. And I think I will keep a notbeokk of thoughts or beliefs I think might come from this and how or why I think they got there. Once things are clear to me I think I can challenge those and figure a way to feel better. Anyway, that is my plan up to now. How does it sound? Sound any good? Any tips you guys wanna throw my way?

Diva, it's great that you have a support system in your immediate family.  I think my mother was in denial about my dad's alcoholism until the day she died and my brother kept his head in the sand (even today). 

 

I think it is important now that you have recognized this.  To figure out what to do with the information and how to process through those emotions that you identify is part of it.  You also can identify the negative core beliefs and as I indicated some of them are sooooo subtle.

 

I will say that I don't think you can rush through this.  But I agree with Ashley, you need to know what you are going to do next!