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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 125

Hi Bailey!

Welcome to the forums!

I had a work issue a while ago. Its funny without thinking about it I tried all the techniques Ashley mentioned. I felt talking to others helped me the most. I found it very hard to re frame. The work situation actually took a big toll on me. I think its very important to be happy at work. So in the end I left the situation. Even though I feel this choice was right for me I probably would have been much happier if I could find a way to resolve the situation. So I hope you search and find a solution. Things obviously cannot stay like this. It will be too hard on your health.

I am sorry to hear about everything else also. I would like to discuss some of the other issues also. I know what it is like to deal with anger in a relationship. Keep posting so we can discuss more.

Grumbles

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Bailey,

This is a lot to deal with right now. I am glad you came to this site. We are here to stand by you. I almost cried for you thinking of you driving to and from work crying. That is awful. You seem like such a strong and intelligent person. You seem very passionate about your work, which makes your work situation even more agonizing for you. Good for you for staying strong and finding this site to help yourself. You will get through this and you will be proud of yourself when you look back on how you have handled this difficult time in your life. I know it doesn't feel like it now but there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

Ok lets look at these situations separately and handle one issue at a time. Firstly, it sounds to me like your work situation is of top priority. Something needs to be done to relieve this issue. You seem to value your work role and what you do. That is great and your employers should recognize this in you. It sounds like you have already done a lot in trying to resolve the problem. When it comes to work situations like these there are three things you can do:

1. Leave the situation; you already mentioned this is not an option.

2. Modify the situation; is there anyone else you can talk to from your place of work or outside who can help you further? Can you discuss ideas with people you trust at work on how to make this situation better?

3. Re frame your thinking; this may seem like a frustrating option and it is ideal if you could find resolve from the #2 option before you go to this option but sometimes #3 is the only option. This is why I asked you what things you like about your job today. Although in comparison with how your job was before it seems awful but there must be some things about your job that you like today. It is good to focus on these points. What do you think you could do in this area to help yourself re frame?

Others please jump in to discuss work situations you have experienced that you can apply these three options to.

It would be ideal if we could discuss your other issues in specified threads so that others could participate according to the topic. When you are ready please post your thoughts on your other stressors in separate threads. There we can delve deeper and discuss those issues.

Stay Strong Bailey

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Hi Ashley:

I loved my job before there was a change in Council and Management. In my position I have been ignored by the Head of Council, which makes it impossible to do my job properly. This person has tried to give me a different position and end my career by the end of this year. The position was a much lower position, but saying he would up my salary so my pension would be higher. He had his favourite younger employer that worked under me that he wanted in my position. I turned him down. I have been bullied at work by him. He couldn't get his way so he brought in a Consultant to review the duties of everyone in my Department. The consultant brought back exactly what he wanted. I lost 2 1/2 staff of 5. My staff person, 4 levels under me, was made a Director that I answer to. We were so busy before and now there are only three of us. You have no idea what has taken place. I work very hard, through my breaks and the majority of lunches to keep up with the work, plus I take work home. I have given everything to my job. I don't really want to be more specific as I am not sure how far I can go. I love all of my duties in my appointed position. Working with the public; working with Council.

I only enjoy doing certain duties now. I have not been the only target at work. He has got rid of staff from the top, down. It is still ongoing. I have had legal advice and what a lot of what he has done is "constructive dismissal" and "Bullying". It got to the point that I would cry drivng to work and coming home.

I have also had problems with my youngest son that does not help and my partner has an anger problem which has taken a toll on me. I was abused as a child and there was a lot of violence growing up.

All I want is to be happy and to love life again.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Bailey52

Welcome to the site. I am sure you will meet lots of new friends. You will find that you will benefit greatly from the program as well. Let us know how you progress through it.

I'm sorry to hear you are unhappy in your work situation right now. I have a few questions for you, and any other member who would like to discuss their work situation.

What did you love about your work before? (Be specific)

How have things changed?

What can you do to improve your situation at work?

What do you like about your work now? (Be specific even about the small things. For example, having coffee with a certain co worker, looking out the back window, a specific task.)

Take some time to think about these questions and reply. Others please do so as well!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

May-10-09

Hello to everyone. I just joined today. I have been fighting depression off and on for well over 10 years. The past 2 1/2 years have been the worst due to what has happened at work. I have been with this employer for 36 years and I have 4 years to go. Some days I wonder how I am going to make it through. I used to love where I work and now I don't want to be there anymore, but I have no choice. I cannot afford to retire yet. I joined the program today and I hope to make some friends and to complete the program.

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