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Just one of my struggles

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Dragonfly,

Just wanted to drop in and say I concur with WildCAt, Your friend should respect your need for space. You will talk if and when you are ready. Sometimes it is nice to be with a friend and just not talk about issues!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Dragon fly that's a great list! Try to add one thing to it every day! It would be great of everyone could contribute to the list! I will be creating a thread for that purpose! Please look in the getting back to work section.

Great work!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

hi Dragonfly,

I am happy to have helped to changed a thought!

You know, we all deal with stress differently. So if this other person likes the charge that work gives her all the better. But, if she has been off work more than once, she might not be telling the whole story!!! And those are her lessons in life. Yours are all about healing and taking time to listen to your body and mind.

I would be VERY hesitant to share my Depressive feelings and thoughts that I have with a non-professional. Okay, I would be scared to be judged and that feels and thoughts would be circulated - by accident. But also, these are issues that I have to deal with. If my "ingrown-toenail" has led to a major depression then everything that led up to it and how I deal with the treatment of that foot is part of my issue. (sorry, i had to come up with a quick description that would not point to anyone in particular, No one has a problem toe??). My Friend who has this illness should be the first to know the inner termoil and respect my need for space. I just might be ashmed of my ugly toe and the smelly infected foot, that it is too hard to discuss! I might -even not want to live with this eyesore- and be ready to wear closed crocs all summer because of it. fashion suicide.

Dragonfly.

I use a bit of humor to pass a hard message. When we are miserable, and can barely find a reason to want to make it to tomorrow ... It is impossible to find the right expression for the feeling. We want to hide from the pain, from ourself, from reality. So it is normal to not want to discuss everything with this woman. You do not need to justify yourself. She is the one that is being un-respectful of your needs in this time. If you want to smooth things, you can explain that you have deep emotional issues that need to be explored with professionals.

But, right now. focus on your health. this person will still be around then the dust settles.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Hi Wildcat --

I've never thought looking at taking time off work in a positive light. I'll give it a try. When I'm journalling I'll try to stop focusing on not feeling better yet and what's not working, and focus on the positive things I'm doing to get better. Thanks! I have gone back to work too soon before and at first it was okay but it didn't take long for the struggles to start up again.

The problem with the friend I mentioned is that, for her, work is something positive in her life. She's said many times that she looks at taking time off work as a last resort. And even though I've told her that's not the case for me, I still feel her disapproval that I'm not going back yet. This has caused a real rift in our friendship. She also keeps wanting me to talk to her about how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking, but I'm not ready for that kind of conversation yet and I feel attacked whenever she brings up the subject. I've told her that I'm not like another friend of hers who will just let it all out. (Sigh)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hi dragonfly,

You are right we both need to do something kind for ourselves everyday! We could start a club and post what we did for ourselves at the end of the day!

Good for you for taking yourself out to lunch!

As for your list, well bravo! I need to make on of those too!

To your list you should add that you joined the Depression Center!

Have a nice day!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

hi dragonfly.

How about looking at the ttl time you are taking as a positive? Your insurance has a bunch of specialists that decided that this particular condition takes this much time to heal properly. If you do not take it you will return -partially lame- and might hurt yourself again, right?

this other person is not one of those special doctor whose job it is to diagnose and treat serious illnesses, so any guilt and frustration that has not properly healed in their case should not be taken on by you!!!

Milk is an excellent sedative with a bit of camomille and honey when we are depressed and having those nasty nightmares - by the way

so go on milking away...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Hi Diva --

You're right - it is easier to be kind and supportive to someone else than to yourself. So today, after a very stressful morning, I took myself out for a late lunch. And I did feel better afterwards. Perhaps we both need to do something kind for ourselves every day.

You asked what I put on my list of things I've done over the past year towards getting healthy so here is what I've been able to come up with. It took me a long time to come up with this list - my mind automatically went to all the things I think I "should" have been able to do.
   - participated in a CBT Basics course
   - learned about mindful meditation
   - identified one very powerful core belief that needs changing
   - went to most of the monthly dinners with a group of friends
   - paid a surprise visit to my sisters
   - painted glassware and sold it at a local craft fair

Any way, that's all I have the energy to write about tonight.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hmm... I meant, hey dragonfly! Sorry, tired tonight!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Ashley,

I guess I wanted to chat with you as I hit a similar roadblock to what you wrote down here just tonight. I wrote about it in my thread.

It made me realize how sometimes it is easier to be nice to others than ourselves. I can be much more understanding of you then myself. I don'T know if you are like me on that. If so, I guess it is something we should both work on :) I see your situation and I think of how brave you are. I think here she is working hard on getting better and people around her don't get it. And I mean it! But when it comes to myself I think I am just lazy and no good and lame for not working. I think it is easy to be critical about ourselves, too easy. I guess, all this rambling is my way of saying we should all be kinder to ourselves. So be good to yourself and celebrate each little success and everytime you genuinely laugh and have a great day, realized it is a great success! I will try and do the same. Hang in there! Oh and let me know how that list of things you have done for yourself has turned out!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Ashley & Diva -

Thanks for your replies. I know I'm being hard on myself and will try and be kinder to myself in the future. I felt better just being able to write out my feelings - and know that I'll get some positive support here.

Ashley, I like your idea of listing what I've done for myself this past year to get healthy. That's going on my activity schedule for tomorrow.

Dragonfly

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Just one of my struggles